Accepting Inevitability
by Melody-Rose-20
Summary: I know what it's like to be grateful when someone notices you. To put up with their habits and their mannerisms. But when the thrill dies, how long are you expected to continue with your gratitude? Mentions of physical, sexual and mental abuse. A dark and gritty story of love and survival. Canon plot. Non-canon characteristics.
1. Endings

**A/N: Hey, so this is another story that's been the vault. It's finally broke free. Please be aware it is not full of hearts and flowers. It's dark and gritty with mentions of physical, sexual and mental abuse. So, if you're willing to share the ride, please board the crazy train!**

The music on the radio was upbeat and thankfully non-classical. Don't get me wrong, I love the Classics – even Debussy – but I need variety. I increased the volume and let the words of Lily Allen consume me…

Oh he treats me with respect  
He says he loves me all the time  
He calls me fifteen times a day  
He likes to make sure that I'm fine

You know I've never met a man  
Who's made me feel quite so secure  
He's not like all them other boys  
They're all so dumb and immature

There's just one thing  
That's getting in the way  
When we go up to bed  
You're just no good  
It's such a shame

I look into your eyes  
I want to get to know you  
And then you make this noise  
And it's apparent it's all over

It's not fair  
And I think you're really mean  
I think you're really mean  
I think you're really mean

Oh, you're supposed to care  
That you never make me scream  
You never make me scream

Oh, it's not fair  
And it's really not ok  
It's really not ok  
It's really not ok

Oh, you're supposed to care  
But all you do is take  
Yeah all you do is take

Oh I lie here in the wet patch  
In the middle of the bed  
I'm feeling pretty damn hard done by  
I spent ages giving head

Then I remember all the nice things  
That you've ever said to me  
Maybe I'm just overreacting  
Maybe you're the one for me

There's just one thing  
That's getting in the way  
When we go up to bed  
You're just no good  
It's such a shame

I look into your eyes  
I want to get to know you  
And then you make this noise  
And it's apparent it's all over

It's not fair  
And I think you're really mean  
I think you're really mean  
I think you're really mean

Oh, you're supposed to care  
That you never make me scream  
You never make me scream

Oh, it's not fair  
And it's really not ok  
It's really not ok  
It's really not ok

Oh, you're supposed to care  
But all you do is take  
Yeah all you do is take

There's just one thing  
That's getting in the way  
When we go up to bed  
You're just no good  
It's such a shame

I look into your eyes  
I want to get to know you  
And then you make this noise  
And it's apparent it's all over

It's not fair  
And I think you're really mean  
I think you're really mean  
I think you're really mean

Oh, you're supposed to care  
That you never make me scream  
You never make me scream

Oh, it's not fair  
And it's really not ok  
It's really not ok  
It's really not ok

Oh, you're supposed to care  
But all you do is take  
Yeah all you do is take

I almost felt sorry for the guy. Clearly, he had intimacy issues. , but in all other respects, he was perfect. Like Edward…

XxX

"So, are there any guys there?"

"Mom, please!"

"Bella, it's just a question and…"

A familiar oomph sounded outside my bedroom. My heart began to race as Edward's face came into view. I forgot my mom was on the line. I forgot that we were in my room. All I knew was that Edward was hot and I wanted him…

Edward's smile made me melt all over…

He sank onto the bed, his fingers gentle against my cheek. "Your mother."

I blinked. "My mother?"

He motioned the phone. Gah! "Mom, I gotta go!"

Renee's voice narrowed at the turn in her daughter's voice. "Wait, we've gotta talk boys. Are you being safe?"

I hung up.

Edward crooned. "I'm sorry, Love, you didn't have to end your conversation with your mother."

He really was perfect! I bit my lip as I moved closer, my legs wrapping over his. Grabbing his shirt, I pulled his lips to mine. His hands came about my head, his fingers running through my hair. I felt his hands on my arms, pushing me away.

"Bella what are you…"

I knew then that this would be our night. The first of many together. Tonight, Edward would be mine!

I felt my body crawl over until I was on his lap, my lips on his.

For a moment, his lips stilled then his hands were in my hair, gripping closer. His other hand felt cold against my stomach but the contrast between our bodies was enticing. I heard myself giggle as Edward proved less than skilful at removing our clothes. He growled in frustration but I didn't care. I liked him this way!

I felt the bed against my back and looked up into the eyes I loved so much. Everything about him drew me in, his scent, those eyes…

It was pheromones at their best!

Finally, I would know what the other girls were talking about. Of course, I wouldn't make Angela uncomfortable but it was good to know I'd have the edge…

The headboard cracked as against my back. I blinked and when I looked up, his eyes were bright red and glowing.

The next moment, he was across the room, in that damn rocking chair, his posture more stiff than ever. The rejection hurt, but this was only the beginning. I crawled to the edge of the bed, his hand coming up to stop me.

"We can't. I'll hurt you!"

I sank back on my feet, the desire waning. "All girls hurt the first time."

I slipped off the bed and moved closer. Those eyes that had been so inviting seconds ago were now cold. He was pushing me away whilst drawing me in and I couldn't help but follow…

I felt the bed underneath me as Edward's hand clasped both of my wrists, tight, his weight pushing me down. His other hand was at my neck, tracing the curves that made me a woman.

"Is this what you want? To be treated like a whore?"

His voice was ice-cold and I tried to move but his grip tightened. "Edward…"

"Whores beg, ladies don't." His voice bit the words out, stinging me deep.

Something in me screamed to get away and I kicked out, not caring if I broke a bone.

"Get off me!"

He smirked, his nose tracing my scent.

"Edward!"

I blinked and saw him across the room once more.

His eyes were penitent but I didn't care. "Bella, I'm sorry, I…"

"Stay away from me. I mean it, get out!"

His eyes were wide with disbelief. "Bella?"

"Get out, Get out!"

He looked over his shoulder one more time, pleading with me, begging me to let him stay but I couldn't. I felt my knees touch the floor as the tears gave way.

XxX

When morning came, there were a dozen messages, mainly from _him_. His face last night appeared, only this time with drops of blood emerging on the edge of his sharp fangs.

I shook my head and set about my morning routine, the shower hiding my sobs.

When the water ran clear, I dressed and grabbed my things and a pop-tart and went to the truck.

I was too late for the pool besides; my arms were nearly black where Edward's hands had been. If I stopped to think about it, I could still feel his hands on me now, his eyes blood red and cold.

But there was no time for that now.

XxX

All day, I longed for the serenity of the cold water and a sharp, clear dive…My aching body needed the salvation. Instead I had to make do with a shower.

The water soothed but didn't wash away my hurt. Flashes of the night before struck me down until I was a pathetic creature in the base of the shower.

His eyes were the worst. They haunted my dreams and I knew I wouldn't sleep tonight.

That night, I couldn't help thinking, why I pushed so hard. I've never been overtly flirtatious. I'm well aware that my mom had her suspicions about me. Boys were never on my radar. After Mom saw I would never be a prima ballerina, we tried several activities, until swimming entered my life. From that first moment I jumped in and felt the water cascade down my body, I knew I'd found my calling. Swimming became my one constant. No matter where we moved, the pool was always my first priority. Renee could have her Macramé, Street-Dance or Bingo, as long as I could have the pool.

Unpaid bills and eviction warnings ceased to exist as I glided through the water, acing my levels and the life guard examination. Then when they offered me the chance to coach, well, it was the best day of my life.

I haven't done much swimming since I arrived. I've been too obsessed with the Cullens.

Well no more. I want my life back!


	2. Shattered dreams

**A/N: Things take a turn for the worse...**

He answered on the first ring. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I thought I could control myself and…"

His voice failed when I didn't reassure him.

"Edward, we need to talk. Meet me in half an hour at the meadow."

"Bella, what's wrong love."

Love? I hated when he called me Love. Was that my only identity? His love?

"Half an hour Edward." I hung up.

XxX

When I arrived, he was there, his skin sparkling like diamonds. I almost smiled as I thought of that Rihanna song.

I knew that we'd become one right away  
Oh, right away  
At first sight I felt the energy of sun rays  
I saw the life inside your eyes

So shine bright tonight, you and I  
We're beautiful like diamonds in the sky  
Eye to eye, so alive  
We're beautiful like diamonds in the sky

Except I'm no diamond and we'd never become one.

"Bella!"

"I can't do this anymore Edward. I love you but you scared me. I won't live like that."

He reached for my hand but I jumped back. "Love?"

"Stop calling me Love, I hate it! My name is Bella."

His eyes were full of hurt as he stared accusingly. "You never said."

"No, I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

"But you don't care now?"

I shook my head.

"So that's it? You don't want me anymore?"

"No."

He stood before me, his hands on my arms and I winced. "Well you may think we're over but you won't get rid of me that easily."

I wriggled free and ran before he could say anymore.

XXx

The next day, Alice called to invite me to a baseball game.

"It's the best day for us. I know you'll love it."

A part of me couldn't belief she was talking to me. Didn't Edward tell her we'd broken up? I'd already decided to take a break from the Cullens and my body agreed with me.

"I'm sorry; I've been called in to work."

"What? Bella, I thought you had the day off?"

I never said that.

"One of the girls has gone sick. They need me. Besides, it's not a good time."

"Oh Bella…"

"Sorry Alice, I can't just drop everything at your whim!"

I hung up before I went too far. Even if I wasn't working, I still wouldn't go. I was on my period and there was no way I would spend the day with seven vampires.

That was just asking for trouble!

XxX

Work was hectic and thankfully I was able to block out all thoughts of _Him_. I was on inventory – a task that required all my focus. I was on my way out, contemplating what to have for dinner when I checked my phone.

There were several messages from Alice. I reluctantly played them.

"Bella, we have visitors tonight. Can we rearrange our outing for tomorrow?"

Odd, we'd not made plans. What were they up to now?

"Bella, I'm sorry my brother is such a bore. Let's go shopping tomorrow and you can ditch him!"

Bleh, shopping with Alice? I barely survived the first time!

A cold hand grabbed my waist. Thinking it was Edward; I turned… and blacked out…


	3. 3 Death's Door

**A/N: Beware, there be dark times ahead…**

 **A/N: Beware, there be dark times ahead… Song of choice – Sia's Chandelier**

The Cullens were showing their guest out the door when the house phone rang.

Alice's eyes went blank. "It's Charlie."

There was a brief conversation where the Cullens were informed that Bella never made it home.

As the phone clicked off, Laurent smirked as the red haired Vampire joined him on the porch.

"Well, thank-you for your hospitality. We have everything we need."

Alice spied Victoria's scarf – it was the exact one she saw Bella wear in her vision…

Edward grabbed the cuff of Laurent's jacket. "What have you done with her?"

The Vampire sneered. He'd remember this slight later. "Nothing yet."

Victoria was about to turn, when a thought crossed her mind. Edward growled. "James has a thing for girls in heat…"

With that, they were gone.

XxX

But I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down won't open my eyes  
Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cos I'm just holding on for tonight  
Help me, I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down won't open my eyes  
Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cos I'm just holding on for tonight  
On for tonight

I woke in a dark, damp cellar, my body sore and itchy. I moved my hands, only to find that I wasn't bound in any way though. That worried me.

Tentatively, I raised myself to my feet and in the dim light, spied a door. Tiptoeing closer, I reached for the handle, only to be slammed back across the floor into the cold arms of my captor.

"Don't go yet darling. The fun is just beginning."

I squirmed against his hold as he laughed. The hands that held me were filthy with an inch worth of dirt under each fingernail. His breath was rancid and made me want to hurl but I held strong. He turned me round to face him and his eyes were ruby-red. I felt his hand wrap around my neck and hold my head erect as he reached behind and grabbed... a video camera.

"I want to remember every single moment of our time together." He smiled, tenderly. "Before I rip you apart!"

He dropped his hold and I ran, reaching the door…

"You're quite the stubborn one, for a human. You'll tire before I do, I promise you!"

Why did he have to talk so much?

"I was quite surprised to find out you were the one keeping the Cullens in Forks. I couldn't quite see it at first, but you're growing on me!"

He laughed as I shivered, wrapping his arms about me and locking his door.

"What will you do now?"

I pushed past him and made for the emergency door – wasn't there always an emergency door?

My face kissed wood as I slide across the floor, crashing into him again.

He sighed. "Your resistance is charming, Isabella."

He stood above me, his eyes wild - that camera rolling as pain enslaved my body and my left leg, porcelain under the hammer.

I cried out then.

"Yes, tell Edward how it hurts."

I wouldn't give in!

A crash echoed about the room as James was flung across the room. Edward stood in his place.

"I'm sorry I brought this to you!"

He lifted me gently and we were halfway out before James attacked.

"You think you're a match for me? You weren't strong enough to turn her."

"I'm strong enough to kill you!"

I drifted in and out until a cold hand enclosed on my wrist. James teeth sank deep. I could feel the venom poisoning my veins and burning me throughout. I couldn't hold back the screams anymore. I knew then that I would die that night…

 **(Narrative POV)**

The door crashed open revealing Alice, Carlisle and Jasper. Carlisle sped to her side whilst the others took care of James.

He beckoned Edward over.

"I'm not strong enough to stop!"

"Then find the will."


	4. 4 Breaking Point

**A/N: Short and not so sweet… Athlete 'Wires'**

You got wires, goin' in  
You got wires, comin' out of your skin  
You got tears, makin' tracks  
I got tears, that are scared of the facts

Runnin' down corridors through automatic doors  
Got to get to you, got to see this through  
I see hope is here, in a plastic box  
I've seen Christmas lights, reflect in your eyes

The steady beat of the machines stirred me from sleep. My eyes felt heavy. I wasn't ready. I needed more time.

As my mind cleared and Edward's form came into view, my heart rate spiked.

"What happened?"

His eyes were bland as he moved closer. "We took care of James. He'll never bother you again." He paused, suddenly uncomfortable. "His companions got away but Alice will keep an eye on their decisions… I'm so sorry Bella."

"How did James find out about me?"

He lowered himself to the chair by the bed. "He smelt you on me. It was good you decided not to come after all."

Something struck me as odd. "Why would I come with you? We broke up."

His hand rested on mine. "You're scared, I know. But I will protect you. You're my life Bella."

I shook my head. "You need to leave."

He didn't appear to hear. "He was a tracker Bella. He traced your scent all over Forks before he discovered you were Chief Swan's daughter."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing." I opened my mouth to argue but his bronze eyes silenced me. "Bella, you have to go to Jacksonville, so I can't hurt you."

"I don't want to leave."

There steel in his tone. "You have to."

I shook his glare off. "No I don't. I came here so I can get to know my dad. Since I've been here, I've been more wrapped up with you and your family. I think you should leave…"

"Bella, no!"

"Yes Edward. In fact leave right now."

"You don't mean that!"

My fingers reached for the panic button, only to find Carlisle the recipient.

His eyes were warm and tender. "Hello Bella, how are you feeling?"

My voice was firm. "I want Edward to leave me alone. He refuses to go."

The tenderness became parentally patronising. "Now Bella…"

I resorted to begging. "Please Carlisle; just get him out of here!"

He turned to Edward. "What did you do to her?"

Edward met his sire's stare. "I've done nothing!"

Carlisle sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Bella, you've been through a lot. You need to rest."

I saw Edward reach for the controls on my pain meds. "No don't…"

Too late.


	5. Marionette

There was a field trip planned for that week. The whole school were excited as it meant leaving the vicinity for a while.

Even if it was for science.

Edward watched as Bella approached the bus along with the usual clique. Her scent really was divine and it would be too much to handle, in such an enclosed environment. He waited until she was about to board before speaking.

"This bus is full. You'll have to go on the next one."

He blocked her entrance and pushed her gently away from the bus. She stood, in a state of disbelief as the door closed in front of her, her friends inside.

Mr Milina took pity on her and ushered her into the other bus.

XxX

Her ability to concentrate was rapidly decreasing and she moped through the greenhouse, catching the tail end of the lecture on compost tea. She turned swiftly, jolting her leg and crashed into Edward.

His words were biting. "Watch where you're going!"

She pulled a face at his back and forced herself to calm down. It wouldn't do to show how much she was hurting. He'd only feed on that knowledge. Guys like him always did.

XxX

Barely two days later, the weather turned. The constant drizzle became a flood and brought icy temperatures and frozen patches to Forks.

The shift in weather spelled trouble for Bella. Her leg stiffened which meant she couldn't get out of bed. Well not without great trouble.

Confined to her room, she found she missed the social element of Forks School.

The school were good enough to let her work from home and the days were monotonous. Tyler's visits were beginning to be the best part of her day. It really was too bad he only came to deliver her homework assignments.

Well, that was what he told her.

He'd stay awhile, filling her in on all the gossip. He left out the fact that he had over-rode Angela's natural helpfulness to deliver the goods. He wanted her for himself, if only for a short time.

It was well into the following week by the time she was alright to go back and she was ready for anything. Even Edward Cullen.

XxX

Charlie was about to leave when Bella left her sanctuary.

"Morning Kiddo. Better wrap up warm, it's a nightmare outside."

She nodded.

"I've put some new chains on your wheels. You'll be secure on the road."

She smiled then, "Thanks Charlie."

He nodded and said good-by to them all.

XxX

The chains helped her make it to school but there the good things stopped.

Leaving the truck became a mission of extreme caution. She set her good leg on the ground to have it slip from under her and she crashed to the floor. Her jeans were soaked through and her jumper wasn't enough to keep the chills away. To top it off, the hand dryers were out of order, meaning she left a damp patch wherever she sat.

She'd forgotten her lunch, forcing her to salvage something from the cafeteria. And Lauren chose that day to comment on her less than fashionable attire.

"Wow Bella, I never heard drenched rat was in. You'll have to warn me next time."

She sank into her seat, unaware that Tyler had overheard. When Lauren's attention was engaged, he whispered. "Ignore the Bitch. She talks out of her ass."

She giggled as he reached for his sweater and placed it on her shoulders. "Looks better on you anyway."

XxX

By the end of the day, she was exhausted and all she wanted was to hideaway in her sanctuary until the rain went away.

When school let out, Bella stood by her truck, watching Tyler from across the car-park.

There were patches of ice everywhere and she thanked whoever was up there for giving Charlie the foresight to purchase new chains.

She must remember to thank him…

Screams were heard as the van approached her.

Blinking, she thought she saw Edward Cullen at the wheel alongside Tyler.

But that couldn't be possible…

Too frozen to move the van skidded on the patch of ice before her as Edward Cullen leapt from the van, knocking her down and lying her flat, partially under her truck as all the students yelled that Tyler Crowley had killed his Bella Swan…

XxX

 _"He couldn't have. That can't be real!"_

 _They were in Limbo once more but she felt as though she had relived that awful crash. In her world, Edward had stopped the van. This scenario was too painful to accept._

 _"I reveal only what there is to reveal!"_

 _"But Edward loved me. He protected me! Why would he put me in danger?"_

 _"Why did he leave you in a forest? Why didn't he tell you at home, where you would be safe?"_

 _She had no excuses for his behaviour._

 _"What happens now?"_

XxX

The blare of the police siren's brought the world to life once more as Bella was escorted to the hospital.

She had light concussion and would be bruised but other than that, there was no damage.

"Bella!"

The voice heralded the arrival of a panic-stricken Renee and a concerned Claire.

"Oh baby girl, when Charlie told me…"

She was swallowed up into her mother's embrace. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tyler and Charlie have words.

"What do you think you were doing? Driving full speed across the ice?"

"I'm sorry Chief Swan; I lost all control of the van. Please, I would never hurt Bella!"

"No chains either, I ought to take your license."

"But I did have chains this morning!"

"Are you saying someone took your chains? Do you think I'm a fool boy?"

They were interrupted by Dr Cullen who had come across the patient.

"Hello Bella, my name is Carlisle. I understand you go to school with my children."

His hands were cold to the touch and Bella attempted to hide her innate disgust of the doctor.

Renee's tone was placating. "You'll have to pardon my daughter Doctor, Bella hates hospitals."

He smiled, hesitantly. "Well, we'll make sure you're good to go and then you can take her home."

His smile was polite but curious. Bella didn't like it.

Having sent Tyler home, Charlie saw to her papers and returned in time to hear Carlisle's verdict.

"You'll need to rest a couple of days to make sure there's no concussion."

"Great!"

Renee was disturbed by the rudeness. "Bella! I'm sorry Doctor Cullen…"

"No need to apologise. I understand completely."

"Come on then. Let's go home!"


	6. 6 Next stop Trouble

**A/N Song choice – Ke$ha – Tik Tok. Definitely not a canon Bella…**

I couldn't get over how dismissive Edward was. How they all were. I probably looked like a miserable cow but I didn't have it in me to smile.

All the Cullens kept looking at me. And I wasn't surprised when Edward brought me outside to the gazebo.

"I can't do this anymore Edward. I can't be with you!"

His response was automatic. "Bella please."

I'd had enough. "No, listen to me. Don't talk, for once, don't talk. I can't keep doing this, letting you control me and dressing me like a doll. I don't want things Edward! I need to talk. Don't you even want to know what happened?"

His voice was calm. "I know what happened."

My mind went blank. "How? You weren't there…" Realisation struck. "The video? You have it?"

He didn't move.

"Why didn't you say anything? Do you watch it? Do you all sit together and…?" I pushed him away. "I feel sick." He stepped closer again. "No, don't touch me. I want nothing more to do with you."

XxX

Charlie was surprised to get a call from Bella.

"Can you come get me?"

"What's wrong honey?"

"I broke up with Edward. Please dad."

He was in the cruiser in seconds. As he approached the entrance, he saw her waiting. She looked pale and gaunt. Whilst he had no eye for fashion, even he could see that dress did nothing for her. She was shaking all over.

He pulled up and removed his jacket, dropping it on her shoulders. "Let's get you home."

They didn't speak on the way home. Bella was upstairs before he could say anything.

XxX

Of course, there was a vast difference between me ending things and Edward accepting it.

He called constantly. They all did. Except for Rose. I knew she didn't care for me and I was glad. Edward was also seen lurking about the house.

I soon learned not to make any firm decisions, especially after Alice hijacked me en-route to La Push. As I couldn't drive, Charlie dropped me in to work when he could. Otherwise I car-pooled with Molly or Hannah, two of the girls at work. As soon as I arrived in Forks, I applied at the Diner, The Newton's Outfitters and the new leisure centre on the outskirts of the town. The girls had already worked there a few months and they took me under their wing. Of course, I couldn't go in the water, but there was desk and inventory duty.

When school finished and my leg was finally released, I was able to pick up more hours and they proved a welcome distraction. After the kidnapping, work had installed more security cameras and developed a buddy system when leaving the centre. All of which would prove worthless in the face of a desperate vampire. Still, Charlie approved.

It was a month after the break-up and the others were talking about a night out.

"You should come with us Bella."

"It would do you good to get out."

I'd told them what I could about the break-up and that Edward was having a hard time letting go.

"He needs to see that you've moved on."

That made me smile. "I might."

XxX

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy (Hey, what up girl?)  
Grab my glasses, I'm out the door; I'm gonna hit this city (Let's go)  
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack  
'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back

I'm talking pedicure on our toes, toes  
Trying on all our clothes, clothes  
Boys blowing up our phones, phones  
Drop-topping, playing our favorite CD's  
Rollin' up to the parties  
Trying to get a little bit tipsy

Don't stop, make it pop  
DJ, blow my speakers up  
Tonight, I'm-a fight  
Till we see the sunlight  
Tick-tock on the clock  
But the party don't stop, no

Don't stop, make it pop  
DJ, blow my speakers up  
Tonight, I'm-a fight  
'Til we see the sunlight  
Tick-tock on the clock  
But the party don't stop, no

Ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of beer  
Ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here  
And now the dudes are lining up 'cause they hear we got swagger  
But we kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger

I'm talking about everybody getting crunk, crunk  
Boys tried to touch my junk, junk  
Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk

Now, now, we goin' till they kick us out, out  
Or the police shut us down, down  
Police shut us down, down  
Po-po shut us

Don't stop, make it pop  
DJ, blow my speakers up  
Tonight, I'm-a fight  
Till we see the sunlight  
Tick-tock on the clock  
But the party don't stop, no

Don't stop, make it pop  
DJ, blow my speakers up  
Tonight, I'm-a fight  
Till we see the sunlight  
Tick-tock on the clock  
But the party don't stop, no

DJ, you build me up  
You break me down  
My heart it pounds  
Yeah, you got me  
With my hands up  
You got me now  
You got that sound  
Yeah, you got me

DJ, you build me up  
You break me down  
My heart it pounds  
Yeah, you got me  
With my hands up  
Put your hands up  
Put your hands up

Now, the party don't start till I walk in

Don't stop, make it pop  
DJ, blow my speakers up  
Tonight, I'm-a fight  
Till we see the sunlight  
Tick-tock on the clock  
But the party don't stop, no

Don't stop, make it pop  
DJ, blow my speakers up  
Tonight, I'm-a fight  
Till we see the sunlight  
Tick-tock on the clock  
But the party don't stop, no

I followed them back to their flat. I didn't mind borrowing their make-up or taking their suggestions over what I should wear. They didn't foist their opinions on me. Better yet, they'd even arranged for a fake ID.

It was thrilling to know that for one night, I could be someone else.

As I took my first shot, all I could think was that tonight was the start of my freedom.

XxX

The Bouncers accepted the ID and I paid for the first round. We all made sure the drinks flowed and it wasn't long before men started to notice us. I got a few looks but they were keener on Molly and Hannah.

Sometime later, I emerged from the bathroom to find that they were gone! I searched the whole place and out of the corner of my eye, saw them leave!

"Molly, Hannah!"

I followed them out of the club and down a couple of side-streets to another, less populated place. The Bouncer was less willing to let me in.

"Please, my friends are in there – I'm supposed to meet them."

I knew I sounded desperate, but after an eye-roll I got the nod. I knew as soon as I stepped in, that I had made a mistake.


	7. Intoxication

**A/N: Song of Choice… Kings of Leon – Sex on Fire. You'll see. Oh and new POV. Try and guess…**

Lay where you're laying  
Don't make a sound  
I know they're watching  
Watching

All the commotion  
The kiddie like play  
It has people talking  
Talking

You  
Your sex is on fire

Dark of the alley  
The breaking of day  
Head while I'm driving  
I'm driving

Soft lips are open  
Them knuckles are pale  
Feels like you're dying  
You're dying

You  
Your sex is on fire  
Consumed  
We're the ones, what's to transpire

Hot as a fever  
Rattle of bones  
I could just taste it  
Taste it

But it's not forever  
But it's just tonight  
Oh we're still the greatest  
The greatest  
The greatest

You  
Your sex is on fire  
You,  
Your sex is on fire

Consumed  
With what's to transpire

And you  
Your sex is on fire  
Consumed  
With what's to transpire

It was the doe-eyes that caught my attention.

That and the fact that she was hopelessly lost. Why else would a girl like that come here? Ths was a dive but the booze was cheap. She stumbled as some oaf grabbed her arse and something in me growled.

She wasn't my type, but I knew, at least for tonight, I'd make an exception.

XxX

 **Bella POV**

The hand was warm across my back and thankfully gentle.

His lips touched my neck whilst his hand stroked the small of my back.

"Dance with me."

I bit my lip, not really sure but his hands curved around my waist and were pulling me to the dance floor.

A few dances and drinks later, I knew I was in trouble. This guy might actually make me lose it.

When he whispered, "Come back with me!" I felt no hesitation. When he kissed me, I lost all ability to think and could only follow him.

His arm never left my side as we left the club and snuck into a hotel, his jacket a barrier from the shivering.

With great skill, he broke into a room and carried me over to the bed. His hands roamed my body, removing each layer and kissing every bare inch of skin. My hands shook as I explored him and I worried he would get bored but all he did was urge me on.

He laid me on the bed as he entered, his lips holding mine captive. He stilled briefly and gave me a puzzled look before moving again.

When it was over, his arms held me close as he whispered, "Were you a virgin?"

I grinned "Not anymore."

I yawned and he laughed as he pulled my close and slept.

XxX

Paul woke to a strong scent of bleach that filled his head and stirred his senses. It irritated his nose and something within boiled over. The room was too stuffy and his skin felt hot. Too hot. He looked to the girl beside him and saw, not the innocent doe-eyes, but a wicked creature who'd cursed him somehow.

He jolted from the bed, waking Bella. She gave a smile but it froze to see him pulling on jeans.

He voice shook. "What's wrong?"

He smirked. "I've had my fun. I don't need to stick around."

He saw her leave the bed, naked as the day she was born. Her figure was slight and pale and he felt nothing. She stepped closer, reaching out her hand but he knocked it away.

"Take your hands off me, you leech loving whore!"

She fell back against the bed as his eyes slanted. A gold rim glared at her, turning the deep brown amber.

Damn it, why did see have to look so innocent?

He left the room before he hurt her, though not before the scent of bleach was diminished slightly by the scent of tears…

XxX

 **Bella POV**

Molly and Hannah were furious I'd left them. My head was spinning and honestly their anger was too much.

"I'm sorry. I'd thought you'd left. I came back from the bathroom and…"

"We were outside, smoking!"

Seeing me close to tears, Molly took pity. "Look Bella, we need to stick together. Think how we would have felt if anything had happened to you!"

"Oh Bella, don't cry!"

I broke down and all the details of my rebellion came out. They were surprised. I was seen as the 'quiet' one at work. They grew serious when I admitted the guy called me a whore.

"He's not worth your tears Bella. There are some guys who go out just to get laid. They don't care who they hurt, as long as they get laid."

Hannah was quiet. "Did you use anything?"

I blinked. "What?"

She looked angry. "Protection Bella!"

"Oh, it's ok. I'm on the pill. I have been since I was sixteen." They exchanged a look "I'm irregular."

"Well let's get you checked out anyway. They're never 100% fallible."

XxX

They insisted on dragging me to a clinic to get the morning after-pill but sweetened the deal with pancakes straight after, before going back to their flat for junk and movies. And showers. It was bliss to scrub away last night's stains. If only I could wash the memories with the same ease.


	8. Initiation

**A/N: Three days Grace – Animal I have become – what else?**

I can't escape this hell  
So many times I've tried  
But I'm still caged inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal!  
This animal, this animal

I can't escape myself  
So many times I've lied  
But there's still rage inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become

Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal

Somebody help me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  
Somebody wake me from this nightmare  
I can't escape this hell

This animal, this animal  
This animal, this animal  
This animal, this animal  
This animal

So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become

Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal!  
This animal I have become

Paul Lahote was a mess by the time he reached the boundaries of La Push. Whacking the shower to full blast – he washed away the scent of bleach but it lingered still.

Growling, he rubbed his nose raw – something inside telling him to go outside. He reached the porch and his nose was assaulted with two unfortunately familiar scents.

"Great, just what I need."

There stood Sam Uley, the Council's pet and Jared Cameron, Sam's lackey. Once they were friends but then puberty settled, making them rivals. They had chased all the skirts La Push, Forks and other neighbouring towns had to offer.

Desperate to best each other.

The next minute, Jared was licking Sam's arse and sucking on Kim Fuller's…

"What's the matter Paul? Was she no good in bed?"

"You need to up your game, man, that's what you get when you scrape the barrel."

He really didn't need this.

"What's with the perfume Paul, you got something to tell us?"

His voice was more growl than shout. "Get your arse off my property."

They sneered. "That the best you can do?"

Something clawed at his chest as his gut wretched. The heat spiked to a fever, blinding him to all but the sight of the woods. The sun glared down on him and all nature bellowed in his ear.

"Don't fight the call! It will be much worse."

Damn, why were they still here?

Two sets of hands dragged him into the woods as Paul Lahote disappeared and a silver wolf took his place.

All memories of the night before were laid bare and he was struck anew with that stench.

"That'll be the Cullens. That girl must go to Forks High." The sight of her wide-eyed does eyes just pissed him off further as the mantle of inheritance sank further onto his shoulders.

"Don't dwell on it Paul. Focus on us." The Alpha command banished the girl's face but not the memory. It was better this way.

Through the red haze, Paul spied a brown wolf and a much larger black wolf.

"It's our ancestors Paul. All the tribes' histories going back to Taha Aki? It's all true!"

"So I'm a wolf?"

The others yipped; surprised that he had come to the conclusion so fast.

"We protect our Tribe from the threat of Vampires. Come with us, we'll tell you everything."

What followed was a tour of La Push and the new routes that would become part of his daily existence. It was weird seeing all the familiar spots at a lower level and through new eyes. Nothing had changed but everything was different. He would live his life for La Push and its people.

The tour ended at Sam's home, where his fiancé was adding the finishing touches to a hearty meal. As her face turned to greet them, he recognised the girl behind the scars.

Emily Young, the Clearwater's' cousin. La Push had heard how she was attacked by a bear and that Sam Uley had found her. He'd nursed her back to health, forsaking Leah Clearwater, his former love.

He saw now that the truth was much worse and a nod from Jared confirmed it.


	9. Miscommunication

**A/N: Jekyll and Hyde's 'Once Upon a Dream'. Oh and by the way, Edward's not happy** **L** **Just a thought, the song is more Edward than Bella…**

Once upon a dream,  
I was lost in love's embrace.  
There I found a perfect place,  
Once upon a dream.

Once there was a time,  
Like no other time before,  
Hope was still an open door,  
Once upon a dream.

And I was unafraid,  
The dream was so exciting!  
But now I see it fade...  
And I am here alone!

Once upon a dream,  
You were heaven-sent to me,  
Was it never meant to be?  
Was it just a dream?

Could we begin again!...  
Once upon a dream.

Edward was waiting outside my home. The scowl was an inch deep and there were waves of anger permeating the air.

"Walk with me." He ordered.

I shook my head. "No Edward, I'm tired and I have nothing more to say to you."

A cold hand closed around my wrist. "I said walk."

He dragged me round the back of the house and to the wooded area.

He stopped suddenly, his eyes ablaze.

"Bella, my family and I are leaving and we won't be back. We've done everything we could for you, but it's not enough."

My temper frayed. "I've never asked for it. I never wanted it!"

He pinched the top of his nose and I wanted to slap that patronising, hard-done by expression off his face. "You're not the girl I thought you were. The day I saw you, I knew you were it for me…"

I sneered. "You couldn't stand to be near me!"

"You've defiled yourself Bella. The woman I loved was pure and honest." The shouted words brushed over my skin. I'd never hated someone as much in my whole life.

"The woman you loved? She belongs in your mind. Despite it all, I'm human, Edward. I'll make mistakes and crave wild nights out. It's all part of growing up. Something you need to do!"

"Excuse me? I will not debase myself with a stranger. Nor will I dishonour my family by associating with a…"

Now he paused?

"Say it Edward."

He took a needless sigh.

"With a whore."

I took a deep of breath. "Well, thank-you for making your point clear. Say good-bye to your family for me."

"My family no longer wish to hear from you."

"Then you better take back all the gifts and give them to a worthy cause."

"I will."

He turned away, never to see her again.

XxX

Work proved a welcome distraction and I made a significant effort to reconnect with the gang at Forks High.

Nights out were off the menu for the moment. I didn't blame them. I could give the excuse that I'd just come out of a relationship and I wanted to go a little crazy.

But I was honest enough to accept that I was tired of being safe and that I was lonely.

Charlie had set up a standing dinner arrangement for Fridays, something I found I looked forward to. The diner was the main choice but every so often, we'd order in a pizza or even Chinese.

He'd always be an aloof, taciturn man but slowly, the barrier was melting and I could finally get to know him.

XxX

Charlie appreciated the time with his daughter but even he could tell she wasn't happy. Not really. He didn't know what happened between the Cullen brat and his daughter and whilst the bond was still so tentative, he hoped that one day, she would trust him.

The first day back at school was hard as the fresh onslaught of memories struck.

The last few days had been fraught and it was all she could do to see herself through the day. Her sense of smell was heightened and the smallest action took more strength than thought possible.

"Maybe you're pregnant?"

I was honestly bewildered by Hannah's question. After everything we had done to ensure I was ok and now this?

To prove her wrong, I booked an appointment at a Clinic in Portland. Molly offered to come with me but I refused.

Those few days I couldn't focus in class, trying to listen to the teachers drone on about finals.

Would I still be at school then? Charlie would want me to finish school. Maybe I should be looking at taking online classes?

Charlie would be pissed that I got knocked up. Even more so when he realised Edward wasn't the father.

Oh God, Edward as a father? Please, just no.

Would the father step up? Would I even want him to? That is, if I could remember his name…

My thoughts turned to the new addition at work. He seemed to be a decent and normal enough guy. Molly told me just the other day he was asking after me.

Would he still want me if I had a baby?

C'mon Bella, don't even go there!

I sure as hell didn't need those fantasies in my collection. I'm probably not even pregnant. So why am I wasting all this time?

Jack, no Joe, no, whatever, was probably being polite. I think.

XxX

My nerves were shot to pieces as I pulled up at the clinic.

I had to race to the bathroom before I threw up all over everyone. That would just be gross.

The nurse was very kind as we went through the standard questions.

Did you use protection?

How long have you been feeling sick?

Are you always such a whore?

That cleared my head completely.

"Miss River, are you ok?"

It didn't take long for the results to show that I wasn't pregnant. They were worried about my current weight and took a few blood samples.

They'd let me know in a few days.

I hadn't wanted anyone with me at the clinic, so Molly and Hannah met me at the local diner.

When the clinic called back, they told me I had low iron levels, which caused the tiredness and recommended a meatier diet. They asked me to come back in three months.

As soon as I got home, the tears came. It wasn't as though I wanted to be a mother. What kind would I make anyway? I wasn't any good in relationships. No doubt I'd mess the kid up.

No, if anything, I was better off alone.


	10. Bombardment

**A/N: Pink – Family Portrait. There's a bit of language in here…**

Uh, uh, some deep shit, uh, uh

Momma please stop cryin, I can't stand the sound  
Your pain is painful and its tearin' me down  
I hear glasses breakin as I sit up in my bed  
I told dad you didn't mean those nasty things you  
said

You fight about money, bout me and my brother  
And this I come home to, this is my shelter  
It ain't easy growin up in World War III  
Never knowin what love could be, you'll see  
I don't want love to destroy me like it has done  
my family

Can we work it out? Can we be a family?  
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything  
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?  
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't  
leave

Daddy please stop yellin, I can't stand the sound

Make mama stop cryin, cuz I need you around  
My mama she loves you, no matter what she says  
its true  
I know that she hurts you, but remember I love  
you, too

I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away  
Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have  
no choice, no way  
It ain't easy growin up in World War III  
Never knowin what love could be, well I've seen  
I don't want love to destroy me like it did my  
family

Can we work it out? Can we be a family?  
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything  
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?  
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't  
leave

In our family portrait, we look pretty happy  
Let's play pretend, let's act like it comes  
naturally  
I don't wanna have to split the holidays  
I don't want two addresses  
I don't want a step-brother anyways  
And I don't want my mom to have to change her  
last name

In our family portrait we look pretty happy  
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that  
In our family portrait we look pretty happy  
Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally

In our family portrait we look pretty happy  
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)  
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that  
(I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do  
anything)  
In our family portrait we look pretty happy  
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)  
Let's play pretend act and like it comes so  
naturally  
(I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't  
leave)  
In our family portrait we look pretty happy  
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)  
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that  
(I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't  
leave)

Daddy don't leave  
Daddy don't leave  
Daddy don't leave  
Turn around please  
Remember that the night you left you took my  
shining star?  
Daddy don't leave  
Daddy don't leave  
Daddy don't leave  
Don't leave us here alone

Mom will be nicer  
I'll be so much better, I'll tell my brother  
Oh, I won't spill the milk at dinner  
I'll be so much better, I'll do everything right  
I'll be your little girl forever  
I'll go to sleep at night

The silver wolf chomped his teeth on the red head's coat as she ascended the nearest tree. She hissed but still fled, leaving him gagging at the offending item.

Phasing back, he pulled the lighter from the band about his leg and burned the fucking thing.

Sam arrived as the flames took hold.

"You're doing well."

Paul grunted.

"You're still new to this Paul. She's evading us all. Go home and get some sleep."

Paul felt the Alpha command stick as he returned to the cabin that he'd been born in.

His mom had been in, leaving her usual supply of groceries. They would probably last two days at most, the way he was eating.

Still, it was enough for now.

When he woke, it was late evening. Time for round two, he grimaced. As he circled the perimeter, he noted the Black's old truck and the scent of strawberries mingled with bleach.

The Pack had cheered when the Cullens left - hosting a bonfire that went on well into the night.

Yet still the stench remained, tainting the safe haven and triggering the Quileute gene that robbed the youth of their freedom.

"It's not that bad is it?"

Of course, he'd show up now.

"Hey man."

Paul snorted.

"What's got your panties in a twist?"

"Leave it alone."

"You should just go and get laid. Maybe you'll run into that chick from before?"

Paul growled as the memories.

"Wow! Not bad for a little virgin. Though, she's no match for Kim."

Normally, he'd make some lewd comment but he wasn't feeling it tonight.

"You've got it bad Paul. You need to live a little. Go embrace the perks of our inheritance."

He snapped. "Is that what you do when you're not in Kim? Embrace the perks?"

Jared halted. "Leave her out of this. Kim knows I'd never look at another girl and if you're making accusations…"

"Easy boy."

"Well don't talk about Kim that way."

"Well, stay out of my business then."

Jared nodded and they continued in silence.

XxX

It was Bella's birthday and Renee and Charlie had co-ordinated to give her a camera and photo album. She'd kept the date on the low, not wanting a fuss but Charlie insisted on a small gathering at the house. He'd invited Billy and Jake, the Clearwater's and the Atera's. Bella spent the days before making sure the house was clean but Charlie insisted she leave the food to him.

This worried her slightly but if it made him happy, who was she to judge?

XxX

Jake was there as I pulled in at school. I noticed the gang move closer. I also saw how Lauren was eyeing up Jake.

It was then I noticed that he was no longer the scrawny kid from summer…

Bad Bella!

Jake smiled and swung me round.

"Jake stop!" I laughed as he set me on my feet again.

"Are you all set for tonight?"

I grimaced. "I'm sure it will be great."

"What's tonight?" I heard Mike asked.

Oh crap.

Jake blinked. "It's Bella's birthday!"

"Oh my God Bella. Why didn't you tell us?"

I blushed. "It's not really a big thing."

Jessica wouldn't be swayed. "Uh, yeah it is. We have to celebrate."

"Leave it to us Bella. Just don't make any plans for tomorrow night."

"Erm actually, I'm meeting some friends from work. My boss blabbed and they're hijacking me tomorrow afternoon."

Hopefully that would be the end to it.

"Well Sunday then. I mean it Bella."

Great!

Jake grabbed my hand as I went to follow the others. It felt warmer and stronger than usual.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't realise."

I shrugged. "It's ok. They probably would have found out eventually." I smiled. "I'll see you tonight."

"Wait Bells, I've got something for you." Before I could protest, he held out an intricately carved dream catcher.

"Jake, it's beautiful."

He pulled me in for a hug and whispered, "See you tonight."

XxX

Charlie had gone all out on the food and ordered platters of every type of chicken, pizza and rib combo available. He even insisted on cooking them and he ordered a cake!

I wasn't to lift a finger.

Harry was to make his famous fish-fry and if that wasn't enough, there were chips and dips, sodas and even a bottle of prosecco.

"One glass won't hurt, Bella. Especially as it's your birthday."

I had to bite back the instinct to tell him that I'd already had my fair share of alcohol, thank-you very much!

The guests started to arrive at six and they all made quick work of the food.

"Hey Bells. I hope you don't mind, this is Embry Call."

"No, everyone's welcome. We have plenty!" I was about to ask if he wanted a drink when I was pulled short by the blatant aggression in his eyes. His body was pulled taut and I could almost envision steam pouring from his ears.

Jake frowned and elbowed him and he appeared to snap out of it. There were no further comments, anyway.

As I circulated the room, I found myself next to Leah Clearwater. Her frosty expression brought me up short but Sue Clearwater took pity on me.

"Don't mind Leah, dear. She's had a rough patch but I'm sure you can understand."

Sue told me how her daughter had been engaged to Sam Uley but that all changed when Emily Young arrived to help with the wedding.

"So, where are they now?"

Sue's smile was icily pleasant as she motioned to her husband. "La Push."

I felt my eyes widen. "They're still here? Well no wonder…"

Sue took a closer look at the younger girl. "Yes, you understand don't you Bella." She paused. "Now, I'm not going to ask you to be friends with her. Leah won't appreciate my interference. But if you feel inclined to talk with her, I'd be content. She's such a lonely girl, sometimes."

It was late when I stepped outside to find Leah on the porch.

"So she sent you out here?"

I shook my head. "Your mother didn't send me anywhere."

Leah scoffed. "Ma thinks you and I should be friends because we both had our relationships end."

"It makes sense."

"So what's your story Swan? I'm sure Ma's told you mine."

I lowered myself to the swing chair. "Nothing like yours. I just realised I didn't want to be with him anymore. He took a little while to believe it. I made a few mistakes and he finally left."

"What kind?"

"Never you mind."

"So there is a bit of fight in you. I'm impressed."

"Well I'm glad. That's made my day!"

XxX

Life carried on with the distraction of work, school and friends. Apart from the nightly hauntings and echoes of dreams, everything would have been peachy.

There were several nights I was jolted too early from sleep and despite listening to music or writing down my thoughts, sleep continued to evade me. I was left with no option but to stare up at the ceiling, so I wouldn't wake Charlie, leaving me agitated and jumpy.

My skin often itched nowadays and whilst I tried not to, the temptation was there. It was an ache that remained deep and relentless.

A hole.

When sleep did come, it was always a merge of memories of the last few weeks, leaving me frazzled. I remained busy during the day but sleep proved elusive.

I tried everything from cooking, baking, writing, exercise… nothing helped. Most of the time, my stories were pleasant enough, but there were dark moments. Sometimes when I read it back if it wasn't for my scrawled writing or my clenched fingers I wouldn't have believed it was mine!

There were even a few intimate moments – despite having only the one encounter, clearly it had been enough!

Maybe it was time to try again…


	11. New Routines

**A/N: Boy meets Girl – Waiting for a star to fall. Bit of a time leap.**

I hear your name whispered on the wind  
It's a sound that makes me cry  
I hear a song blow again and again  
Through my mind and I don't know why  
I wish I didn't feel so strong about you  
Like happiness and love revolve around you

Trying to catch your heart  
Is like trying to catch a star  
So many people love you, baby  
That must be what you are

Waiting for a star to fall  
And carry your heart into my arms  
That's where you belong  
In my arms baby, yeah

I've learned to feel what I cannot see  
But with you I lose that vision  
I don't know how to dream your dream  
So I'm all caught up in superstition  
I want to reach out and pull you to me  
Who says I should let a wild one go free

Trying to catch your heart is like  
Trying to catch a star  
But I can't love you this much, baby  
And love you from this far

Waiting for a star to fall  
And carry your heart into my arms  
That's where you belong  
In my arms baby, yeah

Waiting  
(However long)  
I don't like waiting  
(I'll wait for you)

It's so hard waiting  
(Don't be too long)  
Seems like waiting  
Makes me love you even more

Waiting for a star to fall  
And carry your heart into my arms  
That's where you belong  
In my arms baby, yeah

The new guy was there when I pulled up at work. He was decent enough looking – with brown hair and hazel eyes.

"You're Bella right? Molly and Hannah told me you were the last one to join."

Damn those girls!

I nodded. "How are you getting on?"

He shrugged. "So so. How about you come for a drink and you can show me the highlights?"

I raised my brow. "Highlights? This is Forks. There are no highlights."

He grinned. "Well Portland then. Or Port Angeles. C'mon Bella."

I couldn't help the smile on my face. "You're eager aren't you?"

He looked her up and down. "I like what I see." I shook my head. "Well maybe some other time?"

I clocked in and made my way to the desk.

XxX

Molly was waiting by the desk. "So you and Matt?"

Matt! That was it! How the hell did I get Jack?

"There is no me and Matt."

She grinned. "Well not yet. He's asking everyone here about you."

I shrugged. "Doubt I'm too interesting."

She raised her eyebrow. "Oh I don't know. It's been a few weeks since we went out."

"I thought you didn't want me out with you anymore?"

"I'll admit, aside from the time we spent looking for you, it was a good night. You should stick with us next time though."

"Oh believe me, I'm done with guys."

"Oh Bella!" She took a closer look. "You still don't look well. Did you see a Doctor?"

"I don't need a Doctor. I need a decent night sleep."

"Did you ever see that guy again?"

I felt a shiver go through my body. "No, not that I'd remember what he looked like anyway."

Molly couldn't help laughing. "Oh Bella, how do you meet these guys?"

I shrugged and hung my head.

XxX

Matt proved persistent and whilst I wasn't head over heels, I _did_ like him.

We went for a drink after work and things just fell into a pattern…

It was almost Christmas and I'd told Charlie I was planning on going to Port Angeles.

"That's a good idea. You should take the Clearwater girl. Harry reckons she's restless and with what happened between her and Sam…"

"Alright, I'll take the hint. I'm going on Saturday. I'll swing by La Push on the way."

"You better call her then."

Leah answered on the third ring. "Clearwater residence."

"Leah, it's Bella. Bella Swan."

"What can I do for you?"

"Our parents are set on us hanging out. I'm going to Port Angeles on Saturday. Do you want to come?"

XxX

It wasn't bad really. We hadn't spoken since the night of the party and I wasn't sure I liked her.

On the way there, I noticed how she lost the tension and by the time we arrived, she was almost giddy. We hit the shops for a few hours, then grabbed lunch.

As we waited for our burgers, Leah surprised me.

"I'm sorry for before."

My eyes widened.

"I was out of line."

"You were hurt."

"Not by you." Leah sighed. "It hurts to see him, her. Why couldn't they leave?"

I didn't answer. She didn't need me to. "He was the first man I ever loved. We shared everything and now it's all gone!"

The burgers arrived and she took a moment to wash her face.

XxX

We were on our way home again.

"Thanks for today. I really needed it."

I smiled. "Well, we could raid the shops and order in. Watch a few movies?"

XxX

It was my first Forks Christmas in over ten years. We'd been invited to the Black's and I'd offered to do the turkey. Charlie had arranged for the rest of the meal to be catered and Jake, Quil and Embry were on desserts.

I hadn't seen much of Jake and I felt bad but he showed no sign of resentment. Matt and I were growing close and he seemed ok with my friendship with Jake.

Quil and his grandfather were running late but Embry Call was there. He looked calm today, so there were no disturbed appetites.

It was late afternoon before the Clearwater's arrived. Whilst the adults drank to the occasion, we all went out to Jake's garage. It was cold at first but he'd provided a couple of heaters and more snacks, in case we hadn't had enough already. Everything was going alright until a trio of men appeared at Billy's.

Jake stiffened and looked at Leah.

"Who is it?"

I moved closer.

"That's Sam Uley and his lackeys."

"That's Sam?"

She whispered. "The others are Jared Cameron and Paul Lahote."

One of the lackeys flinched and looked in our direction, almost as though he'd heard us.

Our eye met and I felt an odd deja-vu moment. Then it left.

Leah had turned her back on the doorway and was sat in a corner. I moved over.

"Hey, you ok?"

"I'm fine."

Embry was the last to come away from the door, his eyes fixated on Sam, almost as though Sam was calling to him.

XxX

New Year came and went. I was back to work but I tried to set aside a few hours a week for Leah and Jake.

Even with all my activities, I was still restless.

I needed a new edge.

Matt and I were going steady and I knew what he wanted. We both did.

We were at his house, ostentatiously 'Netflix and chilling.' It was his choice of film and I was bored. The last time, I'd been so engrossed, I hadn't appreciated the sight of his bare chest and this was my payback. I needed to let go of all my inhibitions…

XxX

It was ok, I told myself later. Nothing to write home about.

It would probably get better in time.

I hope.


	12. Misdirection

**A/N: Be warned, there are hard times ahead… Evanescence – My Immortal**

I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light  
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
You still have all of me, me, me

It was March.

I'd lived in Forks for exactly one year. I'd been terrified too many times to count, brought to tears and now, finally, I'm happy.

I'd found the right balance between school, work, Charlie and my friends. Oh and Jake.

A few weeks ago, I was still feeling the need for an edge when I came across two old bikes outside a neighbour's front yard. He told me to take them when I asked if he wanted money.

Jake seemed bemused when he saw them, but he agreed to help me fix them up.

Or rather, agreed to let _me_ help.

We started scrounging the local scrap yards for parts and what we couldn't find, he haggled for in shops.

It was a slow process as I wanted to know about what each part was. We had to keep it on the low for now. Especially since Charlie hated motorbikes and our relationship was still on the raw side.

Sometime Embry and Quil came by. I still wasn't sure about Embry. He always scowled when he thought I wasn't looking.

But I knew.

Then, he vanished.

The next time Jake saw him, he was with Sam Uley.

We never knew why.

XxX

When the bikes were finally ready, we drove away from La Push, into another wooded area. En-route, I saw what I thought was someone falling off a cliff.

Jake laughed when I pointed him out. "They're cliff-diving Bells. It's the biggest rush. Most of us stick to the lower levels, but not Sam."

"Hey, is that Embry?"

Jake was quiet so I took his hand and he pulled me back to the truck.

When all the checks were done, I was raring to go but an unwanted figure, haunted my fun.

"Don't do this."

I stalled and shook my head.

"You ok?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

Once I got over the false start, I pressed on.

Riding a motorbike, far superseded anything could possibly hope for. The power was immense and the rush…

"Steady Bells." Jake shouted as the bike swerved. I heard him behind me and I knew I was hooked.

XxX

"I want to try something."

I was at Matt's and his parents were out.

"You're on the shot right?"

After the pregnancy scare, I'd switched contraception methods.

I wasn't where he was going at first. "Yeah?" Oh!

I knew what he wanted. He'd been bitching and moaning about wearing condoms for the past few weeks.

I guess it wouldn't hurt.

XxX

Leah was over for our fortnightly movie and junk session.

Tonight, we were watching bad romances and she was annoyed that I couldn't stop laughing.

"Shut it! This is a good bit!"

It wasn't.

The guy was so overly eloquent and the girl so hopelessly naïve.

It made me think of Edward.

I'd finally come to terms with the fact that they were all Vampires, with decades of existence and should have known what they were playing at.

I was a reluctant participant in their games.

I liked the danger they brought. The secrecy. I'd been flattered that such a predator should take a shine to me.

I really was that stupid lamb that followed the lion to the slaughter house.

"Bella, I didn't mean it."

Huh?

Leah was looking strangely. That's when I felt the tears.

"Sorry, I'm sorry."

XxX

I should have known things were going too well.

It all started when I cancelled on Matt, after Jake called me up to say that he'd got the Rabbit working.

"It's not right what you're doing Belle."

"What do you mean?"

"The kid loves you and you're leading him on."

What the hell?

I faltered. "You're wrong. Jake's a friend. That's all."

Matt didn't answer.

I was really surprised when Leah agreed with Matt.

"He's besotted Bella. Everybody knows."

Molly and Hannah didn't… but then, they'd never met Jake.

To prove it, I arranged a cinema trip with the gang from Forks High, Molly, Hannah, Matt, Jake, Leah and Quil.

It turned out to be a complete disaster!

Angela had to babysit. Matt couldn't get the time off. Molly and Hannah didn't have the money and the others; they either bailed or had caught the flu.

I should have postponed it but Mike would have been hurt.

So Jake waited with Mike whilst I got the tickets. Both were shifty when I returned but I didn't dwell on it. The film was awful and I knew we'd only tipped the ice-burg.

Mike running out of the theatre sank us even lower.

Jake and I gave up on the film and went to wait for Mike.

We sat on the steps and I was prepared to people-watch but he wanted to talk. It took a few seconds to notice how close he was sitting to me and how his hand was only a whisper away from mine.

I raised my eyebrow. "Jake?"

"Sorry."

"You're not really, are you?"

He shook his head and I wanted to scream.

"Jake, you know I'm with Matt."

Bitterness laced his tone. "I know and before that you were with Edward."

"Jake?"

He sighed. "Bella, I know you're not available. You don't have to rub it in." His voice rose and caught a few raised brows.

"Why do you come to see me? Do you get a kick out of it?"

I was hurt by the accusation. "Jake, no."

He almost snarled. "Do you enjoy leading me on?"

I was begging now. "Jake please, we're friends. Best friends. That's it!"

Mike returned then, his face pale.

Jake sneered. "What's the matter Newton? Can't take a little blood?"

Mike's eyes widened as he spoke defensively, "I was feeling sick before the movie."

He almost growled. "But you still came. Is she leading you on, too?"

His words hurt me. "Jacob?"

The anger faded as Jake looked at both me and Mike.

"I'm sorry, I gotta go."

XxX

Jake wouldn't answer my calls or texts. I heard through Charlie that he was ill and needed peace.

Leah was only half sympathetic when I told her what happened.

"I told you Bella. The boy loves you."

"Please Leah, don't turn on me now."

She huffed and the line went dead.

XxX

I couldn't sleep anymore.

All I kept thinking was the way Jake looked at me, as though I'd broken his heart. My skin itched all over and some mornings I would find I'd broken through my skin.

The smell was faint but nauseating and it took a lot to function.

XxX

I was surprised when Leah showed that weekend.

"We're still on, aren't we?"

I stepped back from the door. "I didn't think you'd come."

Leah shrugged. "Sam dropped by to see dad. It was hard seeing him. I'm sorry."

I gave her first choice as I prepared the snacks.

"What did you pick?"

"The case was blank. Pot luck?"

The movie started and it looked like some lame rom-com but then the screen turned fuzzy and I was confronted by the man that had haunted my dreams for too long.

XxX

 **Leah POV**

Bella froze next to me as pale blond introduced himself as 'James'. I moved to switch it off and she seemed to snap out of it.

"That bastard."

She snatched the disc and bent it in half.

"Bella, don't you think Charlie should know…"

Too late.

She gathered the shards in her hands and stormed upstairs. I followed her to her room as she ransacked through her stuff.

"Bella?"

She was mumbling away. I caught a few words; Bastard was the predominant. 'Cullens', 'Barbie Bella', 'Naive'.

"Bella, stop."

She ignored me and moved closer to the bed. It scraped on a floorboard but she only pulled harder, bringing the loose board up.

The stench slapped me in the face and I almost gagged but Bella was already on her knees, pulling items that had been stashed there, ages ago, judging by their rumpled state.

She pulled up various items of clothing, jewellery, a bundle of photos…

She hadn't noticed them yet and a sense of foreboding filled the room.

I took a brief look and I must have made a noise because suddenly they were out of my hand. Bella gagged as the photos revealed her sleeping.

"He snuck in? Bella…"

She wasn't listening and I looked down. There were several photos of Bella in her underwear. She bundled them all together and raced back downstairs. I followed her out of the house and over to the grill. Her hands shook as she set a match to the gas and torched the damn stuff. The shards of the disk sparked and I tried to pull her back but she wouldn't budge. Some of it spilled to the ground and I watched in horror as she thrust them straight into the flames.

As her skin scorched, I pulled her back, racing to the kitchen for a damp towel. On autopilot, I wrapped it around her wrist, not registering the blue smoke that mingled with the flames.

She never spoke as I brought her back to the house, kicking myself for not pulling her sleeve up first.

 _But then you would have been burnt._

I shook my head, not wanting those thoughts. The stench of bleach mingling with flesh was too much and I couldn't think straight.

I reached for my phone, counting the seconds before a sleepy voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Mommy!"

XxX

Sue Clearwater was barely on the drive before her daughter was there before her. She'd lecture about running in front of a car later, though.

Leah dragged her mother into the house where she was greeted by a barely focused Bella.

"Sweetie, can you hear me, it's Sue Clearwater!"

No response.

She turned to her daughter. "Tell me what happened, Leah. Everything."

Leah stammered at first as she mentioned the movie, Bella's ransacking, and the clothes under the floorboard. The photos.

Sue was brought up short.

"They were mostly of Bella sleeping…"

"He once said he liked watching me sleep. It was fascinating."

Mother and daughter looked to Bella but whatever signs of consciousness had faded.

"Leah, go pack a bag for Bella. She's not staying here. Don't come in the kitchen."

XxX

Sue kept the water running as she cut the worst of the fabric away from the wound. She held strong as the burning smell struck. Then she loosely covered the wrist as she half dragged the girl out to the car.

"Lock the house Leah. I'll call Charlie from the hospital."

XxX

The doctors took one look at the trio and jumped to action. They ushered Bella to a bed as Sue explained what had already been done.

When they motioned her out the room, she headed for the payphone to dial the station.

A sleepy Chief Swan answered after a few rings. "Chief Swan."

"Charlie its Sue. There's been an accident."

"Bella?"

"She's with the doctors. She, well, she and Leah found some unexpected reminders and Bella tried to burn them. She's, well…"

"What? Tell me?"

"She's not well Charlie. I'll bring her back with us when they're finished. She needs help and I don't want my daughter exposed to this."

XxX

It was pre-dawn when they pulled into La Push. Leah was dozing when she spied Bella sit up straight and mouth, "Jacob?"

He was there, running through the woods, the image of health.

"Pull over."

"Now Leah…"

"Mom!"

The girls leapt from the car and followed Jake back to his house, anger building in both.

"Jacob!"

He swerved to see Bella before him.

"Bella, go away."

"I thought you were sick."

"Just go."

"What's the truth Jake? You owe me that."

Now he was pissed.

"I owe you nothing. I can't do this Bella; it's too hard and…"

Leah watched the girl reach for Jake, only to be rebuffed. "Jake I'm sorry. I never thought, I never knew…"

He was pleading. "Bells please, just go. I can't do this. We can't be friends."

"Jake please doesn't. I'm so sorry." She was crying now, full on tears that broke Jake's heart. But he knew his brothers were near. It angered him to know that they would see her so broken. His poor Bells!

Then he noticed the bandage. "Bella, what did you do?"

"He left everything. He was meant to take it all. He lied. I didn't want it."

He heard the Alpha call and half-growled. "Bella, just go. I can't hear this."

He turned away from her, spying Leah in the corner of her eye. "That's it, walk away. You're just like Sam!"

Leah pulled Bella up and away from the Black's, neither girls seeing the young boy phasing into an oversize, russet colour wolf.


	13. Return Journeys

**A/N: Boys before friends? It's rarely the right option…**

 **Sugababes – About You Now**

It was so easy that night  
Should have been strong, yeah, I lied  
Nobody gets me like you

Couldn't keep hold of you then  
How could I know what you meant  
There was nothing to compare to

I know everything changes  
All the cities and faces  
But I know how I feel about you

There's a mountain between us  
But there's one thing I'm sure of  
That I know how I feel about you

Can we bring yesterday back around  
'Cause I know how I feel about you now?  
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down  
But I know how I feel about you now

All that it takes one more chance  
Don't let our last kiss be our last  
Give me tonight and I'll show you

I know everything changes  
I don't care where it takes us  
'Cause I know how I feel about you

Can we bring yesterday back around  
'Cause I know how I feel about you now?  
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down  
But I know how I feel about you now

Not a day passed me by  
Not a day passed me by  
When I don't think about you

And there's no moving on  
'Cause I know you're the one  
And I can't be without you

Can we bring yesterday back around  
'Cause I know how I feel about you now?  
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down  
But I know how I feel about you now

Can we bring yesterday back around  
'Cause I know how I feel about you now?  
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down  
But I know how I feel about you now

But I know how I feel about you now  
Yeah, I know how I feel about you now

I was on the porch. It was late afternoon. I'd spent the morning crying and felt shattered, but I needed to do this.

"Hello?"

"Matt, it's Bella." He grunted. "You were right about Jake. I'm sorry."

He sounded bored. "He told you?"

"Yes."

There was silence for a long time. My heart ached.

"Matt?"

"We need to take a break."

"Matt please, you can't…"

"It's too much Belle."

I hated how needy my voice sounded. "You're breaking up with me?"

"I'll see you around."

Leah stood in the doorway, her face contorted. As the call ended, she wrapped her arms around me as I burst into tears once more.

"It's okay Bella, it'll be okay!"

"I need to get away. I want my mom!"

Leah waited until the tears had dried, to pull an envelope from her pocket.

"It was in with the photos. They're tickets Bella. You can visit your mom!"

I took the tickets from the hand and looked her in the eye. "Can you come with me?"

XxX

Sue wasn't happy with the situation.

"Leah, I know she's you're friend and you want to help but this is too much for you."

"Mom, Bella needs me. I've said I'll go."

"Well you shouldn't have."

"You were the one that pushed us together."

"Yes I did. But that was before I knew what Bella has gone through. Leah, this is so much bigger than you and Sam…"

"Bella was there for me. She's the only one I could talk to and she never judged me. I can't let her down now."

Sue shook her head. Her daughter was right. She didn't like it and there would be words exchanged with Charlie. But she'd support her daughter.

XxX

Renee was waiting for the girls at the airport. She was shocked at how thin and pale her daughter was. She'd lost her glow and her aura was wholly negative.

She scooped her little girl in her arms and held her close.

"Oh baby, I've missed you so much!"

She sent the girls to get changed and relax by the pool whilst Phil grilled the steaks and kebabs.

Leah found Renee Dwyer completely different from the way her mother described. Gone was the flighty woman who had left her husband, taking Bella with her. This woman was clearly devoted to her only daughter and completely worried about her current state.

Phil was decent enough. He kept them entertained with talk of previous games, tours and parties that he and Renee had attended.

"Oh Bella, whilst you're here, your old coach wants to see you. She'll be here tomorrow afternoon."

"Sounds great."

"Phil and I have started jogging in the mornings. Why don't you join us?"

Bella's eyebrows rose. "Since when do you go jogging?"

"Well, Phil and I thought it was a good way to start the day. Phil needs to keep in shape out of the season and well, I wanted to support him."

The way Renee's confidence faltered and the nervous tilt in her hand told Bella it wasn't the full reason. But she'd ask her later.

XxX

The next morning came too early, with a wake-up call from mom and Phi, a little after six.

"C'mon baby, we've got a big day ahead!"

I groaned and snuggled deeper, only to feel a cool splash of water poured over my quilt.

I leaped from the bed. "Mom!"

"Oh good, you're up!"

They kept us through our paces, forcing us to continue when the stiches increased and our legs felt like jelly.

I'd always thought I was in good shape, thanks to the swimming. But it had been a while.

Once we were back, Phil got ready for his training and on his way out, slipped something to Renee.

Then, winking at us, he left the house.

We were in the car, on our way to the Mall, when Renee informed us of the day's itinerary. "I've made appointments at the nail bar. Then we can grab some lunch and do a bit of shopping. Your coach will be over tonight."

Mom insisted on paying for everything. Phil had slipped her his credit card and she wasn't holding back.

We started with mani-pedis, well; I had the pedi, then a mad splurge on the shops. I wasn't sure if mom was feeling guilty and I felt bad but she insisted it was Phil's idea and it was something she really wanted to do, so I gave in.

We returned home laden with bags, to see Phil already grilling steaks. There were platters everywhere and it seemed what I thought would be a casual thing, was much more.

Renee sent us off to get changed and refused offers of help.

XxX

The party was in full swing and Leah had made herself scarce as Bella and her coach caught up. She heard fragments of the conversation. The Coach was challenging her on her eating habits and wasn't giving any leeway.

"You know how important a healthy balanced diet is. Especially when you're not exercising."

Bella opened her mouth to argue, but one look silenced her.

"I know you've been through a lot, but eventually that hurt will fade. You need to look after yourself."

Bella nodded and there was a hint of tears in her eyes.

XxX

They were getting ready for bed when Bella's phone bleeped. Leah saw her reach for it, read the name and run from the room.

She could guess who it was, though she was surprised he'd dare.

Leah felt a twinge of guilt as she stepped closer to the adjacent bathroom door. Her hearing had been much better as of late.

"You miss me?" Don't do it Bella.

"No, I'll be with Leah." You're not making me second fiddle!

"I don't know."

Silence. Oh crap.

XxX

Bella slept through the flight and was dozy as they left the departure gates. Phil and Renee had taken them for one last jog that Monday morning, then dropped them at the airport. Phil had bought both girls blenders to help encourage their healthy diets.

Sunday night, the four had gone for a special dinner and afterwards, Renee and Bella had a heart-to to heart.

Matt was there to meet them both and a part of Leah felt warm as Bella raced over to him, to be lifted into his arms and swung around.

The rest of her felt suspicious. There was an odd scent that lingered on Matt. She couldn't quite figure it out. But she would and if he did anything to hurt her, she'd rip him a new one!

Bella did her best to include Leah in the conversation but Matt didn't even try. Oh, he helped with the bags but when Leah invited them in for a drink, Matt refused.

"C'mon Belle, we gotta go."

And that was that.

XxX

Charlie was at the house when Matt and Bella arrived. One look told Matt that he wasn't invited to stay longer than necessary.

Charlie was nervous as he led Bella to her room.

He'd had a thorough heart to heart with Sue and he'd been able to shake off some of his concerns.

Now his major worry was if Bella would still want to be in Forks.

XxX

The wooden floor had been replaced by a thick, deep purple carpet. The walls were now a deep cream and Charlie had forked out for a new desk. There in the centre, rested a netbook.

"It's the latest model."

"Dad, I…"

He waved my concerns away. "Think of me when you publish your first novel."


	14. New Realities

**A/N: Brother Bear – I'm on my way (It's more of a Jake POV – the choice of song, at least.)**

Tell everybody I'm on my way  
New friends and new places to see  
With blue skies ahead yes  
I'm on my way  
And there's nowhere else  
that I'd rather be

Tell everybody I'm on my way  
And I'm loving every step I take  
With the sun beating down yes  
I'm on my way  
And I can't keep this smile off my face

'Cause there's nothing like seeing  
each other again  
No matter what the distance between  
And the stories that we tell  
will make you smile  
Oh it really lifts my heart

So tell 'em all I'm on my way  
New friends and new places to see  
And to sleep under the stars  
Who could ask for more  
With the moon keeping watch over me

Not the snow, not the rain  
Can change my mind  
The sun will come out, wait and see  
And the feeling of the wind in your face  
Can lift your heart  
Oh there's nowhere I would rather be

'Cause I'm on my way now-  
well and truly  
I'm on my way now

(I'm on my way now)  
REPEAT

Tell everybody I'm on my way  
And I just can't wait to be there  
With blue skies ahead yes  
I'm on my way  
And nothing but good times to share

So tell everybody I'm on my way  
And I just can't wait to be home  
With the sun beating down yes  
I'm on my way  
And nothing but good times to show  
I'm on my way

Yes, I'm on my way

I was back at school the next day. It felt as though I'd been away for years. But Angela was there to pick me up, so it was ok. The others were distant but I couldn't blame them. Especially Mike. After the failed cinema trip, I'd called to apologize and Mike had sounded off.

I felt his eyes on me throughout the day but whenever I turned to look, he had turned away.

When I mentioned this to Angela, she grimaced.

"Mike's had a crush on you from the beginning. Whatever your friend said to him must have hit hard."

"I don't know why. It was me Jake insulted. He said I'd been leading him on. That I knew he loved me and I was rubbing Matt in his face. And that I was leading Mike on."

Angela shook her head. "Oh Bella. Even I could tell Jake liked you. The two of you were together so often, I thought it was only a matter of time."

Any energy I had disappeared as I slumped. "I didn't see it."

"Didn't you have any boyfriends in Phoenix?"

My laugh was bitter. "I was so focused on swimming and passing school, they never showed up on my radar. As far as I was concerned, they were creatures that wore trunks in the pool, whilst the rest of us covered up."

Angela couldn't stop laughing. "Oh Bella, you're hopeless."

Whilst Angela was acting the role of chauffeur and tutor, I often invited her to dinner. I think she appreciated the time away from her younger brothers and when her mom protested, she would use me as an excuse.

I didn't mind.

XxX

My first day back at work was tiring. With my wrist and hand busted, they put me on desk duty. It was fine for now but I couldn't wait to get back in the pool. Matt took over chauffeur duties. Sometimes we went back to his home. I felt nervous being alone with him, which was stupid.

"C'mon Belle, it's been ages."

Well, how could a girl refuse such a romantic entreaty?

XxX

Leah was down with the stomach flu and couldn't come jogging.

Her voice was gruff over the phone. "Don't think you're off the hook!"

Leah's croaky voice stayed in my head, urging me on. I begged a lift from Charlie, on the proviso that I would stay out of the woods. He'd pick me up in an hour.

I started off slow, listening to the echo of nature and the sounds of my feet hitting the ground. I'd built up quite a sweat and stopped for a break, when the silence hit me. No birds sang here. No sound of water trickled.

There was a figure looming in the background, his eyes fixated on me.

"Bella?"

I blinked and he was before me. I moved back but he grabbed my good wrist. The touch of his cold hand reminded me all too well of the man – no creature – who still haunted my dreams. "You're one of them!"

He smiled. "You still remember."

How could I forget?

"The scent of your blood is the most enticing I have ever known." His voice and hand caressed my skin. "James had us follow you all over town. Victoria was the one to discover who you were." He paused. "In her past life, she knew your father. James chose not to let her know who you were."

"Victoria knew my father?"

I noticed his eyes were red and my heart stopped.

"I'm surprised to see you here. I didn't think the Cullens would let their pet run free."

His words stung, but I knew I had to keep him talking.

"They're hunting. I'll let them know you stopped by."

His smile was ironic. "I don't think so. They're far away."

Edward's voice echoed in my ear. "Lie."

I know what to do! "They're visiting later."

"Lie better!" SHUT UP!

"No they're not."

He stood closer, his hand caressing my cheek. "It's such a shame,"

"What are you doing here?"

"I've come here as a favour to Victoria."

"Victoria?"

"She believes it's only fair to kill you, seeing as the Cullens killed her mate."

"Bu I'm not Edward's mate!"

Laurent grinned. "Oh I know that."

"Then why?"

His hands were about my neck, blocking my escape. "Victoria wants me to bring you to her." He smirked. "But why should I be denied?"

I felt my feet leave the floor as his hands closed tighter, off my ability to breathe. I felt my eyes roll back as his mouth inched closer then he stopped.

"I don't believe it!"

Growls filled the air as I hit the ground. Dazed, I only saw the blur of fur as Laurent was chased from the woods by a group of… wolves?

A silver coloured wolf stopped mere inches from me and growled.

A cold nose was at my back and I turned to see a russet coloured wolf behind me. I moved away and he whined. But the silver wolf yipped and followed the rest of them.

I caught my breath and bolted from the woods, not stopping until I was back where Charlie dropped me off. I clung to the nearest tree as I hurled up everything that was in my stomach.

Firm hands held me upright and I sank back against my father.

"Bells?"

"I'm fine, I just…I'm fine."

XxX

I was half-asleep when the tap at my window came.

I shrank lower under my quilt.

"Bella!"

"Jake?"

Reluctantly, I left the warm of my bed, I opened the window.

"What are you doing here?"

"Step back, I'm coming up."

Coming up?

I watched as Jake climbed up the tree and lunged himself through the window. Clad only in shorts and a grin, his previous accusations came back to me and I stepped back.

"Bells."

I held out my palm to stop him. His grin faded. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. I've missed you so much…"

"Just stop."

"Please Bells."

"Say what you came to say and leave."

He sighed. "Do you remember when you first came here? We walked along the beach and the…"

I remembered trying to pump him for information. What a bitch I was.

I noticed he was struggling. "Jake what's wrong?"

"Do you remember what we talked about?"

"Stories, about the Cullens."

He sighed again. "Of course that's the part you would remember." He moved to the bed and sank down. "Did you really not know? Was I the one to tell you?"

I lowered my head. "I don't know what you mean."

He was in front of me once more, my chin in his hand. "Don't lie to me Bells. You know very well what I mean."

"Jake, stop it."

He let go. "Sorry. I just, damn it."

"Jake what is it?"

"It's… you don't understand how tight I'm bound." He paced the room, his eyes taking hold of the dreamcatcher Charlie had hung on my bed. "Have you ever had a secret, that wasn't yours to tell?"

"You can trust me."

He grimaced. "It's not that. I would tell you if I could."

He sank onto the bed again and I moved closed, wanting to comfort him. He looked so lost. I felt him rest his head against my stomach, his arms pulling me down on his lap. As his hand held my damaged one, the relaxed state vanished.

"The killer part is you already know. I know he hurt you. I know I did, but Bella, I need you to remember. I know you're with Matt but I need you in my life."

He stood up and lowered me on the bed, my arm touched his and I jumped back. "Jake, you're burning up…"

He shook his head. "It's all part of it Bells. Come find me when you figure it out."

It took a few seconds for me to notice he was heading for the window. Before I could say anything, he was gone.

XxX

I managed to sleep the whole night, my dreams plagued with snatched conversations and memories. We were on the beach and I was shamelessly flirting. It sickened me now.

The dream switched to the meadow where Laurent was being chased by a pack of wolves. Again, the silver one lingered and as the russet wolf nudged me, memories of the stories struck and I knew what he was…

I woke, unsure about what had happened when something on the carpet caught my eye…

XxX

Billy was surprised to see Bella at his door.

"I need to see him."

"He's not in."

Bella stepped past and made straight for Jake's room. Opening the door, she saw that he was fast asleep.

She tiptoed back through the door, whispering a sorry to Billy. As I stood on the Black's front porch, I saw the four douches approach. They looked so smug and knowing, that I couldn't stop myself. "What did you do?"

Sam was in the way so I pushed him back – uncaring of my wrist.

One of his lackeys stepped forward and a glimmer of recognition struck.

"What did we do? What did he do?"

"He couldn't' tell me anything. I figured it out, no thanks to you!"

"Well then you'll know you're not wanted here!"

"Both of you calm down."

Both parties ignored the stoic Sam's advice. I hated that smug look on his face. God, he's such a prick! My fist collided with his face, knocking him back before anger filled his eyes.

"Now you've done it."

"Bella get back." But I was transfixed on the shaking human form phases into a silver wolf.

"Bella!"

I ran then, but Jake moved passed me, phasing into a russet wolf. I hit the ground as the two wolves attacked each other, mindless of Sam's commands.

They disappeared into the woods.

"Ge Bella back to Emily's place."

"Guess the wolf's out of the bag!" His lackey sneered.

Embry stood above me, his hand held out, I refused his help and stepped back.

"Bella, come on."

"I'm not going anywhere with you. I've had enough for one day."

He scowled. "So you really don't care about Jake?"

"Embry." The other guy warned.

"You have no right to assume anything. If Jake wants to see me, I'll be on the beach."

"I'm not your messenger."

"Did I say you were?" I stepped back, he moved closer, blocking me.

"We're to take you to Emily's."

"Who the hell is Emily?" Realisation struck. "Emily Young? Leah's cousin? No way!"

But they weren't listening and dragged me towards a little cabin nestled in the woods.

Both boys gave a call in unison – some kind of warning? – halting me before I could ascend the stairs.

"Oh hey, don't stare at Emily. Sam hates it."

"Why would I stare?"

Emily Young wasn't anything like the harridan I'd pictured. That's what made her dangerous.

Her scars stared as I nodded in greeting.

"Who's this?"

"Bella Swan. Who else?"

She smiled. "So you're the Vampire girl."

"Ex-Vampire girl." Would I ever live it down? "You're the wolf girl."

Wolf-bitch more like!

She laughed. "I guess I am. Please, take a seat. Are you hungry?"

I shook my head as she laid on the table a plate of the biggest muffins any American had seen. Embry shook his head at me but I genuinely couldn't eat that. Laurent had left my throat bruised and liquids were all I could manage. Emily chided the boys for eating too much and not leaving any for the others.

"Leave it to Jacob to find a way around Sam's gag order."

"He didn't tell me anything."

"That's a wolf thing. Alpha orders get obeyed whether we like it or not."

"Would you shut up? These are trade secrets. Damn it, this chick ran with Vampires."

"You don't have to worry. I won't say a word."

Sam arrived at the cabin, going straight to Emily. He pulled her close and kissed her three scars before commenting, "Jake's right. You're good with weird."

What's a girl to say about that?

My eyes went to the door as Jake and the guy – Paul? – entered the cabin. They were shoving each other playfully. Paul beat Jake to the chair by me. He turned his head towards me. "Sorry."

He wasn't.

I felt Jake stare and when I met his eye, he motioned me to follow. I gave a stilted "Bye" and walked out of the house.

We walked along the beach, neither knowing what to say. Things were awkward now.

"So you're a werewolf." Damn, that sounded trite.

He laughed. "Yeah, last time I checked."

"Mono."

"I wish. Mono would be easier to deal with."

"Tell me about it."

"It's the Vampire's fault. Their presence acts as a trigger for our noble inheritance."

"But the Cullens are gone."

"Well she must be a friend of theirs. I'll say one thing; she's good at evading us."

"Who?"

"I don't know her name. Her hair's red."

I froze. "Victoria. She's here?"

"Bells?" I couldn't hear him. "Bells honey…"

I looked up and he was right in front of me, his hands were warm against my cheek. "She wants me dead Jake. The guy in the meadow… where is he?"

"You don't have to worry about him. He's dead."

"He was working for her. Her mate was killed by the Cullens and now she thinks I need to die. A mate for a mate. But I was never Edward's mate. I was his pet."

"Bells…"

I couldn't stop. "I tried so hard to break things off with him. He never listened. I broke up with him before the kidnap, then whilst I was in hospital. Then at Prom."

"Was that before or after you made him apologise?" I missed the faint smile.

"After. I couldn't take it anymore. He, they were all smothering me. Even then he didn't listen."

"What happened honey?"

"I got drunk and well, I got drunk." I don't know how I managed to hold back the truth of things. I really don't. "He was outraged. He said I'd 'defiled' myself and dishonoured my family. They left the same day."


	15. Confrontation

**A/N: When the supernatural meets reality – there will be casualties at every turn.**

 **Jordin Sparks – Battlefield**

Don't try to explain your mind  
I know what's happening here  
One minute it's love and suddenly  
It's like a battlefield  
One word turns into a war  
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down  
My world's nothing when you're gone  
I'm out here without a shield  
Can't go back now

Both hands tied behind my back for nothing, oh, no  
These times when we climb so fast to fall again  
Why we gotta fall for it now

I never meant to start a war  
You know I never wanna hurt you  
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like ...  
a battlefield (battlefield)  
a battlefield (battlefield)  
a battlefield (battlefield)  
 _[repeat]_  
Why does love always feel like

Can't swallow our pride,  
Neither of us wanna raise that flag  
If we can't surrender  
then we both gonna lose what we had, oh no

Both hands tied behind my back for nothing (nothing)  
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again  
I don't wanna fall for it now

I never meant to start a war  
You know I never wanna hurt you  
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like ...  
a battlefield (battlefield)  
a battlefield (battlefield)  
a battlefield (battlefield)  
 _[repeat]_

I guess you better go and get your armor  
(get your armor)  
Get your armor (get your armor)  
I guess you better go and get your armor  
(get your armor)  
Get your armor (get your armor)  
I guess you better go and get your

We could pretend that we are friends tonight  
And in the morning we'll wake up and we'll be alright  
Cause baby we don't have to fight  
And I don't want this love to feel like

A battlefield (oh), a battlefield (oh), a battlefield,  
Why does love always feel like a battlefield (oh),  
A battlefield (oh), a battlefield

I guess you better go and get your armor  
I never meant to start a war (start a war)  
You know I never wanna hurt you  
Don't even know what we're fighting for  
(fighting, fighting for)

Why does love always feel like ...  
a battlefield (battlefield)  
a battlefield (battlefield)  
a battlefield (battlefield)  
 _[repeat]_

I guess you better go and get your armor  
(get your armor)  
Get your armor (get your armor)  
I guess you better go and get your armor  
(get your armor)  
Get your armor (get your armor)

 _[slowly fade]_  
Why does love always feel like  
(whoa ooow)  
Why does love always feel like  
(whoa ooow)  
A battlefield, a battlefield..

 _[(whoa ooow) throughout to end]_  
I never meant to start a war  
Don't even know what we're fighting for  
I never meant to start a war  
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Jake brought me home. He wanted me to stay in La Push but I couldn't face it. Charlie was still out so I curled up in bed, shutting out the world…

It was late when I heard the tap at my window.

"Jake please, I'm really not in the mood."

It wasn't Jake.

"What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk."

"We really don't."

"Bella."

He stalked closer, making me step back until the back of my legs touched my bed. I pulled my duvet around me and he sneered.

"Don't worry. I've seen it all before."

I wanted to smack the smug look off his face. "What do you want?"

He sat beside me on the bed. "Why didn't you tell Jake it was me that night?"

I shrugged. "I didn't recognise you."

He snorted. "You weren't that drunk."

"Well maybe I blocked it out?"

He growled. "You don't mean that."

I didn't answer.

He sighed. "Was it really me that made him leave?"

I nodded. "He finally discovered I'm not the little doll he wanted me to be. He was very disappointed and very cutting. A bit like you, really." The last part was out before I could stop.

His whole body shook. "Don't compare me to him!"

"Why shouldn't I? You've both accused me of being a whore. Or did you forget that bit?"

"I remember. I phased for the first time that night." He shifted closer to me, his hand reaching for mine. "I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean to hurt you."

I shrugged, taking my hand back.

He left soon after.

XxX

It was a few days before I saw them again. I wasn't avoiding Jake. Not really. Besides, I had Matt and work and finals.

I didn't need the Supernatural stuff as well!

Jake texted most days, at first they were just casual but then they happened more often.

Matt was dropping me home after work. We'd just pulled up at Charlie's and I'd gone to get out, when he pulled me back, one hand on the back of my head, the other stroking my thigh. His lips were firm against mine, kissing lower until they reached the top of my breasts…

That's when I heard the knock.

Paul's face was at the window. "You need a hand Bella?"

Matt looked over my shoulder. "Who the hell is he?"

I groaned in frustration. "He's a friend of Jake's."

He rolled his eyes. "Another one."

Paul opened the door and stood by as I slid out, grinning in that smug way of his.

"Might not be a good idea to maul the Chief's daughter right outside his home. Save it for the bedroom."

He laughed as Matt drove away in a huff. It died as soon as he saw Bella's face.

"Was that really necessary?"

He shrugged. "Made my day."

I rolled my eyes and preceded him into the house. Charlie and Harry were in the kitchen, drinking beers.

"Hey Bells."

Paul stood in the doorway. Harry's eyes narrowed. "What brings you here Paul?"

He shrugged. "I'm here for Bella." He paused. "Jake's in the middle of something so he asked me."

"Why would he ask you?"

Charlie gave a sigh and shook his head at me. "The boy's doing you a favour Bella."

I knew then I wasn't going to win.

XxX

We'd arrived at La Push and I refused to get out.

"Move it Swan."

I ignored him.

I swear I heard him growl before I was out of the truck and over his shoulder.

"Paul, put me down!" I beat at his back with my good wrist but he only laughed and started running.

"Paul please!"

By the time we reached Emily's, I was clinging to Paul. He dumped me on the floor, calling to Jake.

"One Swan, as requested."

He left me to go and stuff his face with muffins. Jake helped me up.

Emily smiled at me. "Well there you are Bella; I was beginning to think we'd done something to offend you!"

"No, not at all."

Sam eyed me levelly. "Jake filled us in on the situation Bella. It would be better if you spent more time here."

"Is that a suggestion or an order?"

He didn't answer.

"Bells, Sam's right. You like La Push don't you? We could hang out."

I smiled but Jake still wasn't happy. He sighed and motioned me to follow him. We were a good distance from the house before he spoke again.

"What's the problem Bells? I thought we were ok."

"We are."

"Bull-shit."

"You shouldn't be so concerned about me Jake. You've enough to deal with."

He nodded. "True but it would be one less problem if my best friend told me why she was avoiding me."

We had reached the log we'd claimed for our own and I sank down. "It's nothing you did Jake. I feel guilty."

"Why?"

"Because it's my fault you phased."

He sat beside me. "That's ridiculous Bella."

"It's not Jake. You said that all it takes was a Vampire's presence to trigger the phase." I paused. "Last summer, three nomads were passing through when they met the Cullens. They were curious as to why such a coven would stay here. Then they discovered me." I felt Jake take my hand. "James was Victoria's mate. He abducted me. The Cullens were able to find me but James bit me. Edward sucked out most of the venom but there was still some left. So for the past few months, I've been a walking, talking trigger. Then there's the stuff Edward left in my room. No wonder Embry looked like he had a pole shoved up his backside."

There was chortling from behind as Embry and Jared arrived.

"I did not!"

I turned to face him. "Come on Embry, you hated being there."

"It wasn't you Bella, it was the leeches."

I turned to Jake. "See what I mean?"

Jake shook his head. "Bella, it wasn't your fault!"

"Really? I knew what they were Jake, but I didn't care. It was only later that I regretted encouraging him. If I hadn't, they wouldn't have had a reason to stay. James would not have found out about me and got killed and Victoria wouldn't be sticking around, trying to kill me and setting off the trigger!"

I'd worked myself up so when my phone bleeped, I took a breath.

It was a text from Leah.

"I hear you're at Emily's."

That was all I needed.

I moved away from the boys and called Leah.

"What do you want?"

"I only went to Emily's to meet Jake."

"Why should I care?"

"Look, I get that you're angry, but that's between you, Sam and Emily."

"Whatever." Her laugh was bitter. "I bet Matt's pleased you're with Jake again."

"Leave Matt out of it."

"So you can comment on my mess but I can't on yours? Whatever Swan."

She hung up.

Jake came and found me a few minutes later. He pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head.

"I'm so sorry Bells."

I sniffed. "I'm hearing that a lot lately."


	16. Cease Fire

**A/N: So Bella's getting close to another… Britney – Baby One more time.**

Oh, baby, baby  
How was I supposed to know  
That something wasn't right here?  
Oh, baby, baby  
I shouldn't have let you go  
And now you're out of sight, yeah

Show me how you want it to be  
Tell me, baby,  
'Cause I need to know now, oh, because...

 _[Chorus:]_  
My loneliness is killing me (and I)  
I must confess, I still believe (still believe)  
When I'm not with you I lose my mind  
Give me a sign  
Hit me, baby, one more time

Oh, baby, baby  
The reason I breathe is you  
Boy, you got me blinded  
Oh, baby, baby  
There's nothing that I wouldn't do  
It's not the way I planned it

Show me how you want it to be  
Tell me, baby,  
'Cause I need to know now, oh, because...

 _[Chorus]_

Oh, baby, baby  
Oh, baby, baby  
Ah, yeah, yeah

Oh, baby, baby  
How was I supposed to know?  
Oh, pretty, baby  
I shouldn't have let you go

I must confess  
That my loneliness  
Is killing me now  
Don't you know I still believe  
That you will be here  
And give me a sign  
Hit me, baby, one more time

 _[Chorus]_

I must confess that my loneliness  
Is killing me now  
Don't you know I still believe  
That you will be here  
And give me a sign  
Hit me, baby, one more time

Things were bad again. Matt was often distant and often unavailable. Jake was running himself ragged and school was piling the homework on us.

I was surprised when Leah asked if I was still going over to hers that weekend. I went all out to make chilli chicken nachos, chicken wings and brownies.

I felt nervous by the time the cruiser pulled up outside Leah's. I'd barely made it to the front porch before Leah yelled, "Its open."

She scoffed at the nachos and grunted when I laid out my DVDs, ignoring them for her own ideas.

I knew it wasn't going to be a good night but I held my tongue. We were half-way through the first film when Leah grabbed the nachos.

I never got a look in. She scoffed the lot then hoovered up the chicken. She caught me looking.

"You've got a problem?"

"No."

She reached for the brownies, downing half, before a loud belch echoed. I must have looked offended because she snapped.

"You know what, you should just leave."

"Leah?"

"Go on, get out of here."

"What did I do?"

"You're so full of shit Bella. I'm tired of you playing the victim and never owning up to your mistakes."

"You know nothing Leah. And if we're dealing guilt, look at you…"

She held my good wrist in a tight hold, dragging me out of the house and pushing me down the porch.

I watched her throw my bags out the house. "Take your brownies with you!"

The lay in the ground, mingling with the dirt.

XxX

"Hello?"

His voice was oddly feminine.

"Who is this?"

The sleepy voice sounded confused. "Matt's phone."

My voice rose. "Who is this?"

I heard him in the background. "Who is it?"

"Some girl. I think she has a hearing problem."

"Oh shit. Belle."

"Who's Belle?"

"I'm his girlfriend."

There was a scuffle on the other end. "Belle, it's not what you think."

I hung up on him.

XxX

 **PAUL POV**

Paul was on patrol when he caught the scent of strawberries, mingled with salt. I phased back to find her leaning against a tree, curled up in a ball.

"Swan?"

She looked up, her eyes watery. I could swear I had her mumble "Of course you'd show up."

I took her chin n my hand, wiping her tears with my thumb. "What happened Swan?"

"Why are you always around?"

I pulled her close and she laid her head on my chest.

"Come on, I'll take you home."

I carried her to my truck, going back for her things. She didn't say much on the way home and when we arrived, the Chief wasn't in.

"He's on lates. You can go if you want."

I shook my head and she shrugged, murmuring about going for a shower.

XxX

I didn't expect to see him here, still.

"You hungry? Fancy sharing a pizza."

"I wanted nachos."

He shrugged. "Ok, I'll order some."

"She ate my nachos."

"Huh?"

Paul wasn't prepared for the onslaught of tears that faced him. Bella sank onto the sofa, curling up into a ball. He stood, feeling useless as she rambled on about Leah taking everything before chucking her out and then Matt...

"He was too busy in bed!"

What the…

"I needed him and he was with another girl!" She'd later deny she wailed but Paul wouldn't hold it against her. He ordered an extra-large meat feast for himself and nachos for Bella.

She hadn't wanted a rom-com, so they settled on an old British spy movie.

XxX

Matt continued to call and text into the night. At first, I could ignore it, but the constant bleeping made me jumpy, so Paul switched my phone off.

"Now why didn't I think of that?"

He just rolled his eyes.

I couldn't remember falling asleep, until I felt my back touch my mattress. Paul sank low on his haunches next to me and I moved onto my side.

"Are you going to be ok?"

I nodded.

"I'll come and get you tomorrow." He paused. "That is, if you want…"

His eyes were pleading and the hand stroking my cheek was warm. Tender. How's a girl to refuse such blatant charm?

XxX

Over the next few weeks, Paul was often seen ferrying Bella Swan about. He brought her to and from work, La Push, wherever she needed.

No-one understood it, least of all the two involved.

Jake wasn't happy. He'd hoped that if ever Bella was to split up with Matt, she would come to him.

He decided to confront her about it.

"So what's the deal with you and Paul?"

I shrugged. "There is no me and Paul. He happened to find me and brought me home."

Jake gave a look I couldn't quite interpret. "I saw it Bella. We share a pack mind."

"You mean…"

"Everyone knows."

I sank onto our log and rested my head on my lap. Jake's arm came around my waist. "You could have come to me Bella."

"I know Jake. But it wouldn't have been fair to you, would it?"

Bitterness filled his voice. "So you're using Paul?"

Was I?

XxX

I was in bed when Paul arrived.

"Come one Swan, stop sulking."

"I'm not sulking. I'm wallowing."

His eyebrows rose. "There's a difference."

"Yes."

He shook his head and moved me closer to the wall, lying down beside me.

"Paul…"

"What is it?"

"What are we doing?"

He shrugged. "Hanging out. Why?"

"Jake thinks I'm using you."

Paul sighed. "He wishes he was in my place. The kid loves you, Bella."

"That's what Matt said."

 _Matt hadn't left me alone at work. He wanted to apologise and was mad that I didn't give him the chance to explain._

 _"She wanted me Belle. You didn't."_

 _Whatever._

 _"Not all of us want to spend their lives pushing people away."_

 _Shut up!_

 _I was able to swap shifts so we didn't have to meet but that didn't stop him. His excuses became more and more fantastic but he never apologised._

Paul pulled me close and I let him. "We're friends Bella. We support each other. There's no need to complicate things."


	17. Conflict

**A/N: Well, it's time to face the music… Miley Cyrus – Wrecking Ball.**

We clawed, we chained our hearts in vain  
We jumped never asking why  
We kissed, I fell under your spell.  
A love no one could deny

Don't you ever say I just walked away  
I will always want you  
I can't live a lie, running for my life  
I will always want you

I came in like a wrecking ball  
I never hit so hard in love  
All I wanted was to break your walls  
All you ever did was wreck me  
Yeah, you, you wreck me

I put you high up in the sky  
And now, you're not coming down  
It slowly turned, you let me burn  
And now, we're ashes on the ground

Don't you ever say I just walked away  
I will always want you  
I can't live a lie, running for my life  
I will always want you

I came in like a wrecking ball  
I never hit so hard in love  
All I wanted was to break your walls  
All you ever did was wreck me

I came in like a wrecking ball  
Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung  
Left me crashing in a blazing fall  
All you ever did was wreck me  
Yeah, you, you wreck me

I never meant to start a war  
I just wanted you to let me in  
And instead of using force  
I guess I should've let you win  
I never meant to start a war  
I just wanted you to let me in  
I guess I should've let you win

Don't you ever say I just walked away  
I will always want you

I came in like a wrecking ball  
I never hit so hard in love  
All I wanted was to break your walls  
All you ever did was wreck me

I came in like a wrecking ball  
Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung  
Left me crashing in a blazing fall  
All you ever did was wreck me  
Yeah, you, you wreck me  
Yeah, you, you wreck me

Victoria had been perfecting her ducking and diving routine, making sure the wolves were exhausted. Everyone was on high alert, so I didn't argue when Sam asked me to come to La Push whenever I could.

Things were strained between Jake and me now. I made sure to call in every so often but I mostly went back to Paul's. I couldn't do what Emily did all day, even though I loved cooking and baking. Besides, Paul told me his mother dropped a care package every few days. But if I did happen to fix too much dinner, he could accept it.

One night, I'd gone over to his for our nachos, pizza and movie night. Paul had been called to a meeting but he assured me he wouldn't be long.

I waited a couple of hours before my hunger won out. I felt weird being in his house alone, especially as the hours dragged by.

By midnight, I was beat and decided to call it a night. Paul's bed looked inviting and I honestly couldn't be bothered to make up the couch.

XxX

Paul was tired to the bone and frustrated at their lack of success. He knew that everyone was determined to catch the leech but for some reason, the attack was personal. She was taunting him, them, while all the while getting closer to Bella.

He caught the smell of food Bella had left for him, half worried that she'd given up and gone home.

The residue scent of strawberries lingered, giving him enough time to grab some grub then go in search of her.

He found her in his bed, all tucked up and adorable looking. He barely managed to remove his clothes before sleep took over…

XxX

Enveloped by heat, I struggled to wake properly. Finding that I was pinned to the bed by an excessively built male, who growled when I moved was a surprise.

"Geroff me!"

He jolted upright, looking around for unexpected threats and only then did his eyes descend to Bella.

"Can you move?"

He grunted and lay back, revealing his naked state. He grinned as she belatedly covered her eyes.

"It's not my fault you slept in my bed!"

His laughter followed her to the bedroom.

XxX

It was a few nights later and I was on my own. There's been no sign of Victoria, so I felt safe. Charlie was on lates, so I didn't register the creaking noises at first.

It was late and I was beat, when I headed upstairs. The lights wouldn't turn on and I felt a presence in my room…

Reaching for my phone, I dialled Paul.

"What's up?"

"There's no-one watching the house is there?"

"No, why?"

A cold hand grabbed my wrists, hauling me against his chest. "Someone wants to see you!"

XxX

The vampire leapt from the house with the unconscious human on his back. His orders were clear. Get her to the border.

From the border, the new-borns passed the bundle to and fro, jolting Bella awake.

Angry snarls heralded the arrival of the wolves and intensified the game.

That night, La Push was overrun by snarl, growls and the scent burning granite. The inhabitants, who had grown up with the stories, could scarcely believe they were in fact _real_.

The council remained in constant contact, setting up a phone chain to keep each other involved.

Paul caught sight of the leech and the bundle smelling of strawberries and chased in to the edge of the river. He lunged at the creature, causing him to drop the bundle into the river. Bella fought her way out of the covers, still hazy and pulled herself out. Every instinct told her to run, mindless of the tree branches that scratched her face and hands.

Not knowing where she was, it was quite by accident she came across the Clearwater's house, sighing in relief, she didn't see Harry leave the house.

"Bella!"

"Harry?"

"Get inside, quick…"

It was too late.

"Why Bella, so nice of you to lead me to such an appetizer!"

The Council had heard all about the red-head and her ways. Harry's heart froze as his eyes met Victoria's.

It couldn't be…

"Dad, what's going on?"

Seth Clearwater was at the door, an innocent in the midst. Bella saw Victoria eye the boy hungrily.

She licked her lips. "James always did love fresh meat!"

Harry's voice shook. "No, spare my boy!"

"Please, he's just a child."

Victoria's grin showed pointy, white teeth. "All the more juicy."

Victoria's hands were around the boy's throat in milliseconds, the father's cry was heart-wrenching, and all hope seemed lost.

But then there was Leah.

She hadn't understood the anger that had filled her soul, ever since doubts over Bella filled her head. Tonight's howling called to her, urging her outside, to find her brother in the hands of an unnaturally pale woman. Her former friend and father, united in their fear.

Her brother's breaths rasping. She heard remnants of the tribal histories echo in her head. Her body quaked as the scent of bleach triggered the phase…

 **Bella POV**

I saw the fire building but Seth would be dead before then. I looked down to find the ground littered with rocks, lowering down, I grabbed one, held my arm taut and sliced the flesh. The scent turned the Vampire's head and she dropped the boy, not noticing the shakes in his body. Victoria stalked towards Bella, the scent drawing others close. It was as Victoria grabbed the bloodied wrist that the shakings forms of the Clearwater children phased wolf, charging at the enemy. Victoria hissed as her army flounded and the howls approached. She grabbed Bella, ascending the trees.

Leah and Seth followed the other wolves to the cliff edge, where a triumphant Victoria, held the near lifeless form of Bella Swan before her as a shield.

The wolves were in a quandary. Here was the red-headed demon that had played them for fools. Tempers were high as she taunted them. But Jake couldn't be held back and charged, his paws pounding as he gathered speed. He lunged, his claw outstretched, but Victoria whipped Bella in front of her. Jake was too late to stop his sharp claws tearing at Bella's flesh, the blood proving more of a diversion sending Victoria into a blind frenzy. She never saw Paul and Leah until it was too late. As they tore her to pieces, she let go of her captive, flinging her over the cliff…

XxX

Meanwhile, in upstate New York, Alice froze as a vision of Bella took hold. She was jumping into the sea! They had abandoned her and she'd not been able to take it anymore.

She needed them!


	18. Redemption

**A/N: Sam Smith – Stay with me**

Guess it's true, I'm not good at a one-night stand  
But I still need love 'cause I'm just a man  
These nights never seem to go to plan  
I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?

Oh, won't you stay with me?  
'Cause you're all I need  
This ain't love it's clear to see  
But darling, stay with me

Why am I so emotional?  
No it's not a good look, gain some self control  
And deep down I know this never works  
But you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt

Oh, won't you stay with me?  
'Cause you're all I need  
This ain't love it's clear to see  
But darling, stay with me

Oh, won't you stay with me?  
'Cause you're all I need  
This ain't love it's clear to see  
But darling, stay with me

Oh, won't you stay with me?  
'Cause you're all I need  
This ain't love it's clear to see  
But darling, stay with me

Jake fled La Push in despair, the sound of Bella's screams in his ears…

Paul phased and dove in after her, scouring the waves for a trace of the brunette. He caught a glimpse dangerously near the rocks and swam towards her.

She was barely breathing as he held her against him, her head above the water as he swam them both to shore.

He laid her on the sand, searching for any sign of life.

"Breathe." He breathed into her. "Come on, Swan, don't give in now!"

She gave a splutter and as she opened her eyes, his eyes transfixed on her face. "Bella."

Her body shook as she heaved the salt water, narrowly missing Paul, before collapsing against his warmth.

"Great, I imprint and she throws up on me!"

XxX

"We have to go back. We owe it to Bella and her father." Alice stood before the rest of the clan, her eyes appealing.

"She betrayed Edward!" She saw the looks exchanged between the family.

"Carlisle, please. I've seen us back in Forks. We can have her back!"

The patriarch considered his daughter's claims. Edward had relayed the bare details of Bella's betrayal and with a heavy heart, they had conceded to his demands. Emmett and Esme had been disappointed, whilst Rosalie was indifferent. Jasper had not had much of a chance to build a bond with Bella, whereas Alice and Edward had. He turned to his mate.

"What do you think, my love?"

XxX

The bed was cool against my skin, but the hands that held me were warm.

"Hold her still, we're almost done."

The voices above were hollow and strange. Who were they talking about?

"The wounds are clean now and they'll need time to heal."

I lay adrift in a sea of memories. Victoria's face sneered as my blood dropped from her lips. Seth and Leah were dead and it was all my fault.

"She has a fever. We'll need to burn it out of her."

"I'm staying."

"Paul."

"You won't keep her from me. She's mine."

Who dared claim me? I am my own person and I am no pet…

"We'll talk about it later. Rest now, little one."

The bed dipped as a pillar of heat enveloped my body. The arm that pillowed my cheek was taut and a soothing hand smoothed my hair.

XxX

For three days, Bella lay in and out of consciousness, always aware of a heavy weight anchoring her down.

Paul never left her side, resenting all interruption. Emily was too nervous to approach to change Bella's dressing, leaving it to Leah.

Leah shared Paul's pain, seeing Bella so beaten down. Her cast had been destroyed in the water, so Sue had a temporary one made. The skin of her hand and wrist were still scarred from the flames and there were three ugly scars trailing down her back.

Jake had not returned and Sam had the others run patrols, searching for him.

Charlie was distraught and kept a vigil by his daughter's side, taking time out to look in on Billy. Sue dropped by when she could but the sight of the leeches trespassing on sacred land, threatening his children and triggering the phase had taken its toll of his heart. Leah and Seth were pulled by the need to be with their pack, their family and their friend.

All the harsh words she'd thrown came back to haunt Leah and whilst she hated being in Emily's house, there was no other way.

There was no chance of Bella moving to her own home. Paul had growled that it was Sam's or his. He wouldn't burden Sue more than he had to.

So Bella stayed.

XxX

"She's waking up."

The light was bright as my eyelids fluttered. Heaviness weighed on my mind, making me doubt if I could face everyone.

His voice was soft in my ear. "Please Bella; a lot of people miss those doe-eyes of yours."

Doe-eyes?

My nose twitched and he laughed. "I know you're awake Swan."

Slowly the light filtered through.

I was in bed, lounging against someone – Paul? – and my father was in a chair by my bed. There were tears in his eyes as he saw me.

"Oh baby-girl."

He tentatively wrapped his arms around me and held me close. The bandages were a firm reminder of what had happened. I looked around the room, but could not see him.

"Jake?"

I didn't see Paul's face fell, nor the look he exchanged with Charlie.

"He needs time Bells."

"But it wasn't his fault!"

"He knows. Or he will do. In time."

I sank back against Paul, the events finally catching up with me. Paul held me until there were no more tears and I sank into a dreamless sleep.

XxX

"Hey you. Time to join the real world."

Leah smiled as I stirred.

"You saved my brother."

"You killed a vampire."

There was a nervous laughter, followed by silence.

"I'm sorry Bella. I shouldn't have taken things out on you."

I shrugged and she looked exasperated.

"Don't say its okay. Bella, you were the first one to see beyond the bitch I was turning into and you didn't care. I'll always remember that." Leah crouched beside Bella and took her hand. "I was so scared Bella. I don't want to lose you."

"Lose me?" Uh oh!

"I can't explain it. I need you in my life."

Leah's eyes bore through me and I felt a flush of heat. The scuffle at the door broke us apart as Paul threw himself in the room and gathered me in his arms.

"Back off Leah!"

It took the combined effort of Jared, Embry and Seth to remove Leah from the room. Paul's hands pressed me closer as he buried his head in my neck.

I waited until he looked up to speak. "Do you want to explain what that was all about?"

H gave a heavy sigh and for a moment, I thought he wouldn't answer.

"Did Jake ever mention imprinting?"

I gulped.


	19. Return to Sender

**A/N: Emeli Sande – Read All About It.**

You've got the words to change a nation  
But you're biting your tongue  
You've spent a life time stuck in silence  
Afraid you'll say something wrong  
If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?

So come on, come on  
Come on, come on  
You've got a heart as loud as lightning  
So why let your voice be tamed?  
Maybe we're a little different  
There's no need to be ashamed  
You've got the light to fight the shadows  
So stop hiding it away  
Come on, come on

I wanna sing, I wanna shout  
I wanna scream 'til the words dry out  
So put it in all of the papers,  
I'm not afraid  
They can read all about it  
Read all about it, oh  
Oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh

At night we're waking up the neighbors  
While we sing away the blues  
Making sure that we're remembered, yeah  
'Cause we all matter too  
If the truth has been forbidden  
Then we're breaking all the rules

So come on, come on  
Come on, come on,  
Let's get the TV and the radio  
To play our tune again  
It's 'bout time we got some airplay of our version of events  
There's no need to be afraid  
I will sing with you my friend  
Come on, come on

I wanna sing, I wanna shout  
I wanna scream 'til the words dry out  
So put it in all of the papers,  
I'm not afraid  
They can read all about it  
Read all about it, oh  
Oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh

Yeah, we're all wonderful, wonderful people  
So when did we all get so fearful?  
Now we're finally finding our voices  
So take a chance, come help me sing this  
Yeah, we're all wonderful, wonderful people  
So when did we all get so fearful?  
And now we're finally finding our voices  
Just take a chance, come help me sing this

I wanna sing, I wanna shout  
I wanna scream 'til the words dry out  
So put it in all of the papers,  
I'm not afraid  
They can read all about it  
Read all about it, oh  
Oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh

I wanna sing, I wanna shout  
I wanna scream 'til the words dry out  
So put it in all of the papers,  
I'm not afraid  
They can read all about it  
Read all about it, oh

Charlie was surprised to see the fancy car outside his house.

It had been a really shit day and all he wanted was to see his baby-girl.

"Chief Swan?"

He stiffened as the petite figure of Alice Cullen appeared at his side.

"I thought you'd left."

Alice was stunned to see the blank look on the usually welcoming father. "I heard about Bella. I'm so sorry."

"What have you heard? Wait, how could you know anything about Bella?"

Alice knew she'd made an error. "Well, I arrived a little while ago and someone happened to mention Bella."

Charlie caught the whiff of bullshit and it really stank.

"Uh-huh. Well she's doing well. Now if you excuse me…"

"She's alive?"

Charlie stilled, his blood boiling at the audacity. "What the hell do you mean by that? Get out of here, go on, get!"

"Chief Swan!"

"Don't Chief Swan me, miss! My daughter has told me that she never wants to see you again and I'll honour her wishes. If I catch you or any member of your family within 500 feet of her, I'll slap an order on the lot of you."

With that, Charlie returned to his cruiser and drove headlong to La Push. He was still shaking when he pulled up at Sam and Emily's cabin. He took a few moments to compose himself. As he looked up, he saw Sam Uley standing there.

"Evening chief." He winced as he caught the scent of leech.

"Yeah, one of the Cullens was here. Is Bella up?"

Sam nodded and led the way to the spare room. She was sitting up, Paul close by her side. Her eyes were red and there were tear tracks down her face.

"Hey kiddo."

"Hey dad."

He sank into the chair beside the bed and took her hand.

Paul slid off the bed. "I'll give you some space."

Charlie saw the way he stared longingly at Bella. "No no, take a seat Paul. You're bound to find out anyway."

He gave a sigh before retelling the strange encounter with the petite Cullen. Paul watched as Bella's body stilled then started to shake. He ran his hand down her side, comforting her and she sank into his warmth.

"You deserved to know."

"They thought I was dead?"

"She spewed some nonsense about hearing people talk about you."

Bella gave a bitter smirk. "That's Alice."

Paul's response was quick. "We won't let them near you!"

I looked at Paul, my eyes widening. He looked so sincere and I wanted to believe him, I really did.

"You didn't tell them what happened, did you?"

"Never."

"Promise me. In fact, don't even think about it. They'll do their best to get things out of you."

"I promise Bells."

"They're sneaky and they never listen. They'll take over then make you feel guilty if you don't show gratitude for all their efforts. Everything has to be perfect and if it's not, they'll willingly tear it apart…"

Bella had been growing progressively anxious and it took Charlie taking both her hands to bring her back. "Baby, I won't give them an inch. Trust me. You're safe."

She sank back against Paul and Charlie took that as a hint to leave. He kissed the top of her head and watched her shrink into the bed.

XxX

"They really did a number on you, didn't they?"

It was much later. Emily had sent up dinner and Paul had tried his hardest not to pressure me to eat.

"They made me believe they wanted me for me. I soon learned they wanted a pet. When they discovered I wouldn't be easy to control, I lost their admiration and became a challenge."

"You're better off without them."

"I know that. But they offered a fairy-tale I desperately wanted. Or thought I did."

I couldn't stop the tears flowing. Paul pulled me close, tucking me under his arm. "I miss him Paul. He's my best friend and I can't bear to think of him all alone!"

I didn't see his eyes glaze over, nor his body stiffen. He mumbled something and I could have sworn I heard, "Always Jake."

"Paul, I need to get a message to him. Will you help me?"

He helped me from the bed and into the bathroom. With great care, he helped me wash and dress. It was bliss to feel clean again. The warm water was refreshing and I heard Paul chuckle.

After dressing, I stripped the bed and went to take the sheets down but Paul interceded. "Not so fast Swan. Let me do the legwork."

He held the sheets under his arm and helped me down the stairs. Our pace must have irritated him but he never complained.

Emily was surprised as we loaded the washer. Clearly she was used to playing mother.

Quil arrived and we went outside. I turned around as he phased and it was to the grey-brown wolf that I gave my message.

"Jake, it's time to come home. Your father needs you. Your Pack needs you. I need you."

Paul's voice was gruff. "You got all that?"

Quil nodded and was off.

I watched him fade into the distance.

"C'mon Swan."

"Wait. Can we stay out here a while? I feel like I've been cooped up forever."

We sat on the porch, enjoying the peace. Emily was bustling about inside and I felt guilty doing nothing.

Paul's eyes never left my face, even when he thought I wasn't looking. He was.

"Can we get out of here? I think Emily can use some time to herself."

XxX

I was waiting for Paul to fetch his truck, my bags all packed. Emily had tried to persuade me to stay but Sam wasn't so enthusiastic. Still, as I left the house, he laid his hand on my shoulder and said, "You're welcome here anytime."

I almost believed him.

I'd moved the chair as close to the late afternoon sun, letting the rays hit my face. I heard the footsteps but didn't open my eyes. The sound of the dragged chair stirred but it was the warm hand on mine that succeeded.

"Hey Bella."

Leah!

I hadn't seen much of her since her half confession and I felt awkward.

She was staring, all emotion in her eyes.

"I know I hurt you Bella and it's killing me. If you could try to forgive me, I swear…"

"Leah, please. Can we not do this now?" Her face fell. "Paul is on his way. He's already upset with me. We'll talk about his tomorrow."

"You promise?"

"Yes. Tomorrow, I will hear you out."

Paul's truck pulled up outside Sam's and Leah took it as her que to go.

XxX

Paul managed to knock together some sandwiches. His portion was much bigger than mine but I was still the last one to finish. As he cleared, he told me to make myself comfortable. I sat in the front room, idly playing with my hands, not knowing he was there until his large, warm hand took both of mine in his, soothing the scarred tissue with the pad of his thumb.

"You know, the first time I saw you, you reminded me of Bambi."

"Bambi?"

"Yes. You were hopelessly lost and out of your depth. You weren't my usual type but I felt as though you were calling out to me." His smile was rueful. "You were my doe-eyed girl."

"You called me that before."

The hand cupped my face, bringing me onto his lap. "I'm sorry for what I said to you. My only excuse was the venom in you got to me. Still, I was out of line and I had no idea how deep my words would get. But I think, I hope, we've got passed that, have we?"

I nodded and he smiled, running his fingers through my hair.

"I'm supposed to say I'll be whatever you want me to be. A friend or brother. But I won't lie to you. I want you Bella, whatever way you'll have me."

He pressed his forehead close to mine, taking in my scent.

"We'll sort this together. You, me, Leah…Jake. I promise."

I believed hm.

XxX

Hannah and Molly were over for a movie marathon. I had missed them. They were happy to catch me up on the gossip. Apparently Matt had had to take an embarrassing trip to the clinic. And the girl who replaced me had publically dumped him.

"He misses you Bella. He knows he screwed up. He wants us to talk to you for him."

"Really?"

"We told him where to go!"

I still wasn't keen on romances but the spy films were great. Leah arrived about half-way.

"Sorry I'm late. I had to finish the chicken."

All was good!

It was late when they finally said their good-byes. Paul would be back at any moment. He'd been so good, letting me use his home.

"Oh Bella, I almost forgot. One of your friends was asking about you."

"Oh?"

"He's a bit weird looking. Very pale. Crazy hair."

Leah stilled as Hannah continued. "Anyway, he said he hoped to see you soon."

My mind went blank.

XxX

"Bella!"

"Swan, don't do this!"

Paul had returned home to find a shaken Bella and a furious Leah. She filled them in on the conversation and it was on Edward's name that the ice broke.

He was prepared for tears and would willingly be her strength.

"How dare he!"

"Bella?"

"How dare he show up now? He said he'd never be back and I believed him!"

She began pacing the room in earnest. "Why now? Victoria's gone. You did the work. You were the ones to bust you ass looking after your people. I don't get it."

Paul stopped her mid-circle, pulling her to his arms. "Swan, its okay…"

She pulled away. "It's not okay. I bet they don't even know the truth, that a mere human rejected their golden boy. And why would he go to my work? And talk to my friends? He knew they would tell me. He wanted the drama. It's all they know. The secrecy, all that bloody angst!"

It was Leah's turn to stop her. Paul had to bite back the growl as Leah's hands came about Bella, taking her hands. "I know it's rough, but you can't let this tool think he's won. Face him Swan. Let him know you've moved on."

Bella pulled a face but nodded all the same.


	20. Desperation

**A/N – Miley Cyrus – Can't be tamed. Bella has something to say to the Cullens! Dark but there is light at the end of the tunnel…**

Rock mafia  
For those who don't know me  
I can get a bit crazy  
Have to get my way yep  
Twenty four hours a day  
'Cause I'm hot like that

Every guy, everywhere just gives me mad attention  
Like I'm under inspection  
I always get a ten 'cause I'm built like that

I go through guys like money flying out the hands  
They try to change me but they realize they can't  
And every tomorrow is a day I never plan  
If you're gonna be my man understand

I can't be tamed  
I can't be tamed  
I can't be blamed  
I can't can't, I can't can't be tamed  
I can't be changed  
I can't be tamed  
I can't be, can't, I can't be tamed

If there is a question about my intentions  
I'll tell ya I'm not here to sell ya  
Or tell you to go to hell  
I'm not a brat like that  
I'm like a puzzle but all of my pieces are jagged  
If you can understand this  
We can make some magic I'm on like that

I wanna fly I wanna drive I wanna go  
I wanna be a part of something I don't know  
And if you try to hold me back I might explode  
Baby, by now you should know

I can't be tamed  
I can't be tamed  
I can't be blamed  
I can't can't, I can't can't be tamed  
I can't be changed  
I can't be tamed  
I can't be, can't, I can't be tamed

Well I'm not a trick you play  
I'm wired the different way  
I'm not a mistake I'm not a fake  
It's set in my DNA  
Don't change me  
Don't change me  
Don't change me  
Don't change me (I can't be tamed)

I wanna fly I wanna drive I wanna go  
I wanna be a part of something I don't know  
And if you try to hold me back I might explode  
Baby, by now you should know

I can't be tamed  
I can't be tamed  
I can't be blamed  
I can't can't, I can't can't be tamed  
I can't be changed  
I can't be tamed  
I can't be, can't, I can't be tamed

Sam Uley led his Pack to the treaty line. Quil and Embry were on patrol, their eyes peeled open for Jake.

They kept their minds blank of all the past events.

The Cullens were out in all their undead glory, decked in the latest fashions.

Carlisle stepped forward to start the meeting. "Good evening. My daughter has informed us of the miscommunication. We wanted to make sure that Bella is well."

Sam rolled his eyes, Edward acted as interpreter. "He says she's better than ever."

Carlisle smiled. "Well, not to doubt you're word…"

The Pack drew back as one by one, they caught sight of their brother and sister, accompanied by Bella.

In another time, they would have laughed as her petite frame astride the over-large silver wolf, flanked by smaller grey and honey wolves.

"Bella!"

Paul lowered himself to the floor allowing Bella to slide off.

"Hi."

"Oh Bella, it's so good to see you."

She smiled but gave no other inclination. The Cullens were disappointed. They had been willing to overlook her discrepancies but there she stood, as defiant as ever.

They didn't understand.

XxX

Now that she was up and about, Charlie mentioned the dreaded 'S' word.

"Finals are coming up kiddo. You've got some big choices ahead of you."

"It's going to take a miracle to get me to graduate."

I underestimated Charlie's determination. He had all my assignment s sent over to Paul's and even enlisted Paul and Leah to make sure I did the work.

Gone were the lazy days and hello frustration!

I soon found myself picking up where I left off and after a few weeks, I was deemed well enough to go back to school.

Paul didn't like it and I was none too keen to see the Cullens. Leah had switched from the Rez School to Forks High and had matched her schedule to mine.

She would also be my taxi.

We pulled up at the school to find the Cullens were already there and ready to bombard me, but Leah had parked near Angela, who was there to welcome me back.

That day, Angela was my human shield, along with Ben, Eric and Tyler. Mike had got over his crush, or seemed to, and spent most of the free time with Jessica.

The canteen was too contained for Leah, so we sat outside. Paul joined us for lunch and we asked to others to join us. Paul kept finding excuses to touch me and it felt good.

"They've not bothered you, have they?"

I shook my head. "Between Leah and Angela, they haven't got the chance."

He smirked.

"Charlie wants to take me to the diner after school. You don't mind?"

"Why would I mind?"

"I can bring some more stuff over with me."

Paul leant in and whispered; "Now why would you want to wear clothes when you look so good in your birthday suit."

I blushed and Leah swatted at him.

XxX

"How was the day kiddo?"

"So so. They're piling on the pressure."

"Well, just do your best and then we can talk College?"

I rolled my eyes. "I know what I want to study dad."

I watched dad consume his steak and couldn't help but liken his habits to that of the Pack's. They all appreciated their food. In the rare times I wasn't studying, Paul insisted on making the meals and when I protested, he always said I could take over after finals.

Work had taken me back on as a casual worker as my absence rate was, well, excessive. I understood.

"This is a difficult time for you Bella. We don't want you overdoing it."

Fair enough.

XxX

Paul and I continued to share a bed. Each night, I slept in his arms, feeling secure. We hadn't talked about the imprint, though I could feel it in his eyes.

But I'd read that in Edward's eyes and I wasn't ready to fall head first again.

XxX

Work had called me in for a half shift. I was on desk duty, but I didn't care. Tensions were high at Paul's. The celibacy was getting to him and he'd been enticing me with talk of 'grab-ass'. Leah was also being more affectionate and protective. I wasn't used to people being so focused on me and honestly, it was wearing thin.

I was just finishing up when my boss asked if I could stay on. I messaged Paul and went out to the stock room.

It was late when I finally clocked out and honestly, I was exhausted. Stepping into the carpark, I looked for my truck.

It wasn't there.

The door slammed behind me as a vulgar yellow porch pulled up, Alice Cullen at the wheel.

"Hey Bella, right on time."

A pair of cold arms grabbed me from behind and I struggled.

"Bella, it's just Emmett! Come on, the others are waiting!"

I sat encased in Emmett's knee, his hold firm, as we drove to the Cullens.

Esme was there to greet me. "Hi Bella, we've ordered Italian for you."

I just stared in disbelief.

I flinched as Alice ushered me to the nearest chair.

"We're going to have so much fun!"

"Where's Edward?"

"He's out hunting with Carlisle. He'll be home later."

Alice pulled me down on the chair as Esme brought over dinner. Rose sat in the far corner, her usual expression of boredom tinged with a mildest flicker of curiosity.

"I picked these up today."

'These' were a collection of DVDs, all of them romances. When I didn't make a choice, Alice slotted one in, tutting at my lack of enthusiasm.

I didn't touch the meal and I refused to engage in the plot.

When Alice grabbed my foot, I pulled back. "What the hell are you doing?"

She blinked. "I was going to do your nails. How about Scarlet Red?"

I leant in closer, "Take your hand off my foot or I will kick you in the face."

Everyone stilled.

"I mean it Alice. Let go."

She dropped it straight away. I stood, and looked at all their shocked expressions.

"I'd like to go home now. I've had enough of your games."

"Bella, we…"

"Let me guess, Alice had a vision and you all decided to make it come true?" Their silence told me everything.

"You're supposed to ask people to your house, not just grab them off the street." I looked straight at Emmett. "Have you really forgotten the last time a Vampire snatched me away? Don't you remember James? How he tortured me, bit me. Filmed me." I looked at Alice. "Was it you who told Edward to leave it under my floor?"

Rose's eyes were blazing holes into Alice's head.

"It's not true."

"Well, if you won't let me leave, then I'm going to bed." I made for the stairs, Alice by my side.

"I know where Edward's bedroom is."

She opened the door and my eyes widened at the four-poster bed set slap-bang in the middle. I turned as Alice opened her mouth to speak and slammed the door in her face.

It really was a ridiculous thing, too ornate for my taste. Completely Edward.

I didn't want to sleep in it, so I curled up in the corner, like the good pet I was.

XxX

"Bella, can we talk?"

Rose stood in the doorway. I shrugged. She moved closer, lowering herself next to me.

"I was surprised when Alice mentioned this, her vision. I wanted no part of this but as usual I was overruled." She sighed, prettily. "I couldn't believe it when Edward said you'd cheated on him."

I knew it! "He said that?"

"Oh yes. It's why we left."

"Well, it's hard to cheat on someone when you're not going out with them."

Her eyes were patient.

"I broke up with him before James arrived in Forks. I then broke up with him after the attack. Both times, he refused to believe it. I wanted him to leave; I even pressed the panic button. Of course, it would be Carlisle that responds!"

Her eyes widened.

"So I guess dear old daddy didn't say how his precious boy played with my pain-relief to make me go to sleep? I'm not surprised."

"Carlisle always was blind to Edward."

"Well, he's still as guilty."

"What happened Bella?"

"I woke up and neither Alice nor Edward would leave me alone. You all saw how it was. You did nothing. I was your pet."

"Bella…"

"It was during Prom that it all got to me. I never wanted to go. I was in the wrong size dress, my face was heavy with make-up and I was expected to have a good time. Jacob, my friend, came to see me. His father wanted me to break up with Edward. All I wanted to do was ask him to take me away."

I was sobbing now. I felt my heart shatter into thousands of pieces. For Jake, the girl I used to be. For Leah… for Paul. I wanted him so badly…

XxX

"Love, why aren't you in bed?"

He was back. My nightmare. My demon lover.

"Why the bed Edward? Have you finally decided to seduce me?"

He stood before me, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You can't be comfortable there."

"I know my place."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Why the bed, Edward? Is it supposed to impress me?"

"Bella, it's for you…"

"I don't want it. Any of it. Why did you come back?"

"Alice saw you jump off a cliff."

"I didn't jump. I was thrown. You remember Victoria and Laurent? Well, they're dead now. The wolves destroyed them after both of them tried to kill me. You know why? Because you killed Victoria's mate. An eye for an eye, Edward."

"Bella, I'm so sorry…"

"So is this your way of making it up to me?"

"Bella, I couldn't live without you anymore…"

"Living? You're dead! Have been for years. What do you know about it?"

"I know I hurt you…"

"You called me a whore. You said a Lady would never dishonour her family. Well I'm no lady and you're no gentleman. You're a boy and you always will be."

I stood up suddenly. The door opened, distracting Edward and I took my chance. I climbed up onto the bay, my body half out the open window.

"Bella, no!"

The family stood, watching in horror.

"Now, all of you are going to back away and let me leave, or I'll let go."

Esme's dry sobs filled the room.

"I mean it. Let me leave the house or let me fall." I moved my hand from the frame, jolting them into action.

Rose was the first to speak. "Alright Bella, climb down from the window and Emmett and I…"

"No. The only way I see Emmett, is as my co-abductor. "

"Bella, please, I missed you…"

"You still followed Alice's plan though."

I ignored the pained expression on his face.

I climbed from the ledge and left the room. My bag was by the door.

"Where's my truck?"

No-one spoke. Fine, I could do with some fresh air.

XxX

The moon was high as I left the Cullens and walked the long road back to Forks. I didn't mind the dark. It was peaceful. The animals in the trees were my companions. I kept off the road and out of the woods.

XxX

The phone was on the third ring. "Hey Hannah, is Bella finished yet?"

Hannah's tone was confused. "Erm, she left three hours ago. Her friends collected her."

Paul stilled. "What friends?"

"Not sure. They had a flashy car though."

He rang off and turned to face the others. "We've got a problem."

Eyes went to the figure standing in the doorway. He nodded and led the way out of the house.

XxX

The temperature had dropped, making it harder for me to lift my feet. My body was screaming at me to rest but I pressed on.

As the night continued, I began to think I'd heard someone following me. The wind howled and the leaves rustled.

"Bella!"

My feet froze. I was definitely not imagining things.

My feet finally gave way as I dropped to the floor. Someone crouched before me and I was wrapped in a pair of strong and warm arms. I looked up to see Paul staring down at me. The sight of his open, honest eyes was too much and I felt the tears flow.

Paul moved them both off the road and leant against a tree as he shifted Bella onto one arm and reached into his pocket for his phone.

"It's me. I've got her." He gave their destination and when the other end rang off, lowered him to the floor and held her close.

When a pair of headlights arrived, Paul brought them out of the woods. Leah had brought a blanket, which Paul covered them both with. Bella didn't see the other person climb in the front. He'd make his presence known later.

XxX

Bella slept that night, curled into Paul's chest, his arm pillowing her head, his other arm curved about her waist. She didn't dream that night, her mind had gone into shut-down.

She remained in bed the next day, refusing to eat.

When Monday dawned, Paul woke up to find the bed empty and panicked, until the sound of water pouring calmed him.

She was quiet as she dressed, her only answer being "Finals."

They were in the car and the tension was threatening to choke him.

"You don't have to do this you know."

She shrugged. "They're not going to ruin my future, as well."

As they reached the school, they found Charlie's cruiser in the car park. The Cullens had chosen the furthest corner, surprising everyone.

Charlie took in the frail frame of his daughter and wanted to cry. He approached slowly, His hand resting on her shoulder. "I've spoken to the principal Bella. You're to take your exams in his office."

She nodded.

"Hey kiddo, we're all thinking of you."

She felt the hairs on the back of her neck raise as the Cullen's stares became more evident. Charlie and Paul closed ranks about her, blocking their view.

The arrival of Leah's car interrupted the stand-off. She wasn't driving herself, wait, was that…

Jacob Black had grown a further six inches, his body bulking up further. His eyes were feral and bore the sign of lost youth. He approached Bella slowly, wary of her rejection. Paul stepped back as Bella's arms opened in welcome, battling down the possessive growl that threatened to shatter the reunion.

Jake scooped her into his arms, her voice soothing.

The bell broke through the reverie as Jake pressed his forehead to hers. Her whispered, "Later." Would be enough to see him through the day.

As he lowered her to her feet, Paul took her hand and led her into the building, Leah following in their wake.

XxX

They week passed in a blur of questions, blank lined paper and the soft voice of the invigilators warning them all that time was short.

Bella's silence continued apart from the most necessary moments. After school, she returned to her books, breaking only for meals, at Paul's insistence.

On the third day, Paul had had enough. He wanted his girl back. He'd taken to roaming La Push when Bella was occupied. On the look-out, he found the perfect spot.

Bella was surprised when they didn't immediately return home. Paul said nothing as he turned away from his house. Stopping a few metres from the brook, he opened Bella's door, removing her seat belt, and then going to the back of the truck for a holdall and a hamper.

"This way."

He brought her to a bubbling brook, sheltered by a rocky incline that would give Bella the privacy to change.

She took the proffered swimsuit and changed quickly. Paul was waiting, decked in his trunks. Normally he would go commando but this was for Bella. He led her to the edge and gently pulled her into the water, pulling her close so the warmth of his body would lessen the impact of the cold.

He watched as Bella relaxed into his hold and let the water wash over her.

"Happy baby?"

She hummed in response, resting her head on his shoulder.

They stayed there until she began to shiver. Quickly pulling their clothes on, Paul the blanket down and opened the hamper.

There was a good spread of chicken, breads, cold meats, and muffins.

When everything was eaten, they returned to the house. Bella returned to her books but Paul pulled her onto his lap and rubbed her back as she read over her notes. She fell asleep in his arms and didn't stir when he carried her up to bed.

XxX

"The test is now complete. Please stop writing and remain silent until you have exited the room."

Leah was waiting outside; her arm came about my back, as we left the school.

"Charlie wants to meet us at the diner. Do you feel up to it?"

I nodded.

"Paul and Jake will be joining us."

I couldn't help the blush that filled my cheeks.

At the diner, I sat sandwiched between Charlie and Jake, with Paul and Leah across from me. I couldn't tell you what I ate.

We lingered a while, Charlie quizzing me on the exams. There would be a few days down time and then graduation.

I'd already decided to go to the college in Port Angeles. Despite everything that had happened, I didn't want to leave Forks.

Oh sure, I'd go to Jacksonville and visit Mom but for the moment, I had no plans to leave. It was a conversation I'd have to have with both Paul and Charlie.


	21. Fin

**A/N: Well lookie here – I've actually finished a story! This is super short but I've had enough drama…**

 **The Wannadies – You and Me**

Always will we find  
I tried to make you love  
'Til every thing's forgotten  
I know you hate that

Bop badada, bop bop bop bop  
Bop badada, bop bop bop bop

Always will we fight  
Kiss you once or twice  
And every thing's forgotten  
I know you hate that

I love your Sunday song  
The week's not yet begun  
And everything is quiet  
And it's always

You and me, always and forever  
You and me, always and forever  
Bop bop bop bop bop  
It was always you and me, always

You tell me I'm a real man  
I try to look impressed  
Not very convincing  
But you know I love it

I know we watch TV  
'Til we fall asleep  
Not very exciting  
But it's you and me

And we'll always be together  
You and me, always and forever  
Bop bop bop bop bop  
It was always you and me, always and forever  
You and me, always and forever

Bop bop bop bop bop  
It was always you and me, always and forever  
You and me, always and forever  
Bop bop bop bop bop

The whole school erupted into applause as my name was called. I walked onto the stage feeling proud. For once, I didn't mind the limelight. My dad was in the crowd, Billy Black by his side, along with the residents of La Push.

Emily had planned a party and Sam upped the ante by suggesting a Bonfire.

"We haven't celebrated Victoria's demise, yet. We all need this, Bella."

Charlie raided the wholesalers, stocking up on cooked meat, desserts, everything. Leah had volunteered to make a chilli and I was there to supervise that she didn't sample _everything_.

There was enough time to change and then we were off.

XxX

Paul and Jake had already gone down to set the bonfire up. Sam had enlisted the whole pack, leaving the imprints to set up the food.

It was great seeing everyone so light-hearted.

All the adults were supervising the drinks, keeping enough distance from us to give the illusion of privacy.

The heat from the fire was soothing and I sat sandwiched between Leah and Jake, with Paul holding me on his lap. Ostentatiously, we were sharing but the others were eating at a rate of knots. I sat back against Paul, his spare hand resting on my thigh, keeping me close.

I felt both Jake and Leah's skin against mine. I was finally safe and secure and able to look forward to a future with my best friends and Paul.

None of us knew what would happen in the future. I'd had my fill of visions.

All that mattered was that we were together.

The rest, well, nothing more than inevitable…


End file.
